Monologues

Greetings From Another Land

2011-03-31T18:42:00.005+01:00

I know it’s been almost five months since I ‘abandoned’ this blog. Abandoned might be too harsh of a word to describe it but that’s besides the whole point of why I’m writing again. And the weirdest thing is that I’m writing this post in the train on my way to Manchester to see my boyfriend and because he’s throwing me my 21st birthday party! Never did I think of reviving my blog this instance; I was thinking more of being a good girl and instead of tossing my precious hour and a half doing nothing but playing Ninjump on my phone or snoozing through the whole journey, I decided to at least complete my assignment that is due this 7th April.

I happily switched on my laptop and just before I attempted to launch Safari, I realized that the train don’t freaking provide free WiFi. How dumb can I get right? Here I was thinking what I was gonna do to look smart as I didn’t want to look dumber than I already am by keeping my laptop away in just minutes of using it. Plus, the lady sitting beside me was obviously staring at my screen.

“Umm.. Hello! Do you know what privacy is?” the voice in my head asked.

Obviously she didn’t. But thankfully, she left at the next stop.

The last five months were like sad songs playing on repeat on the music player and not much of happy songs. Happy songs were mostly played on fast forward. I’m not going to tell you in detailed what precisely happened because it’s beyond crazy. So, let me just sum it up for you. My mum was diagnosed with glaucoma and almost one-eye blind. Weeks later, my uncle met in a horrifying accident and passed away after three weeks of battling to survive, I escaped from a car accident on my way to KL two days after my uncle’s funeral, left for UK to further my education two days later, didn’t make any friends at university until over a month later, visit several places in Britain, visit my boyfriend in Manchester every other week, miss Malaysian food and lifestyle as well as friends and family back home.

Guess what? You didn’t miss much of me.

When I was still in Malaysia, all I did was go back and forth of the hospital everyday and took care of my family.

Now that I’m in a foreign land, I pretty much go to and from university on weekdays, visit my boyfriend every other weekend, visit several cities and I don’t freaking have a social life because most Brits dislike foreign people and prefer sticking to their own kind (read: people who speaks in British accent). Don’t get me wrong though, some of them are really friendly and my life here isn’t as bad as I made it sound like (only the first month though).

From Motorola to Apple, A Toy for All Ages

2010-11-03T14:30:00.004Z

In today’s modern world, what is that one thing that goes wherever you go?

Remember the bulky handheld cell phone which looked more like a giant-sized cordless phone or more popularly known by the Chinese as tai ko tai? Though it weighed more than a kilogram and had a hideous antennae jutting out from the phone, everybody wanted one; even your dad and mine. The Motorolo DynaTAC by Martin Cooper was the first commercial handheld cell phone which ripped the pockets of each consumer approximately 3500 US dollars when it was first released in 1983. Having said that, only the rich and famous could afford it. It’s absurd how one were willing to fork out so much for a phone that can only talk, listen and dial when you can easily get a feather light phone which can do what the Dyna-Tec does plus SMS capabilities and polyphonic ringtones with a coloured screen for less than RM100 now.

The legendary Motorola DynaTAC
Photo credits to techfresh.net

Handheld cell phones have evolved immensely since 1983, both in design and function. From the Motorola DynaTAC, that Michael Douglas used so forcefully in the first Wall Street movie to today’s revolutionary Apple iPhone 4 which was released this June.

Michael Douglas as Gordon Gekko in Wall Street
Photo credits to pocket-lint.com

The new Apple i-Phone 4
Photo credits to Apple

The cell phone market was initially monopolised by Motorola with its DynaTAC, MicroTAC and International in the first decade. As competition arises, competitors step up. Nokia stomped the market in 1987 with its Mobira Cityman but only managed to dominate the market in the second generation of mobile technology with the launch of Nokia 1011, the first GSM (subscribers can use their phones throughout the world, enabled by international roaming arrangements between mobile network operators) phone in 1992. Nokia has climbed to dominance ever since and overtook Motorola as the world’s leading cell phone manufacturer in 1998; but not until Apple decided to threaten its position with its iPhone 3GS and iPhone 4.

Nokia 1011
Photo credits to visionnet.nl

Today there are more cellular subcribers than landline phone subscribers in the world, with cell phones weighing as little as 3 ounces. With the evolution of cell phones pushing it to the limits, especially the iPhone 4 — a phone, camera, GPS, web browser, email, chat messenger, game console, music and video player all in one — I wonder what’s next. From GSM phones to today’s sleek and stylish smartphones, what would replace smartphones? Most importantly, how would the iPhone 5 looks and functions? Would it be lighter, slimmer and with cooler features?

Here’s the leak on the future iPhone 5!

Why Men Love Women's Body

2010-10-20T16:15:00.007+01:00

When I was a kid, I’ve always regarded these round, sometimes droopy or even pointy durian-thorn-like organs as nen-nen or tee-tees. I somehow find them strange yet fascinating as to how they can be left hanging out a woman’s chest without falling to the ground. It’s amazing how they defy gravity; it’s like magic. As much as kids adore magic, I, for one was not.

The sight of it disgusted me and I questioned its existence almost every day. They were ugly in my eyes and never would I want to have a pair myself until one day I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my grape-like seeds blooming into beautiful morning glory. I swore I felt like cutting them off. I was constantly teased at school for being an early bloomer. Much to my chagrin, I wore oversized school uniform to hide my imperfection. I even wore tight singlets that crushed my growing breasts. But that didn’t help as they were growing each day. They even hurt when I touched them with a little more pressure than I normally would.

I hate them. I wish I was a boy.

As the years go by, I saw my friends having breasts like mine. For once, I felt normal - no longer did I feel inferior. The teasing stopped but the praising came, especially from my flat-chested friends. They wished they had breasts like mine. From that moment onwards, I celebrated my God given breasts. I adored them and I learnt to love my body. Oh, and men sure do worship them!

Whatever shape and size they may be, be sure to save these precious assets from foreign cells.

Happy World Breast Cancer Day!

Photo credits to Off The Map

I found this interesting breast cancer awareness public service announcement when I was researching for my breast cancer documentary in May this year. It's sexy, distracting and the message sells too. I thought I might like to share it with you. And since we’re at it, did I tell you that my documentary won my team Best Documentary Award in my college’s Golden Achievement Awards (similar to Oscars)? I wrote a post about it too.

Save the Girls: Best PSA Ever - Watch more Funny Videos

Retail Therapy Meets Best Fall Bargains for Under RM50

2010-10-19T15:00:00.017+01:00

Different people have different ways of overcoming their grief and anger.

You either crank up your radio with angry/sad music to deafening volumes or watch a comedy film to cheer you up. Some would eat their way off their emotions, especially women who indulge themselves in sugary food like chocolate and ice cream. I, for one, like many women prefer to indulge myself in retail therapy this time simply because I had cash to burn and I didn’t want to add more weight than I already should have not.

Coming from a girl who didn’t do shopping for almost 2 months, a little retail therapy seemed like a better choice than stuffing my face with food given the fact that I have not been exercising since God knows when.

I’ve always loved to have my retail therapy done on weekdays. The amount of people flooding the mall on weekends is beyond crazy. If I can’t even walk along the corridors in a straight line, how will I ever be successful in getting a pair of garment in my size and needn’t have to queue outside the fitting room until my limbs start falling apart? Plus, the sales assistants are always too busy to entertain you when you need their assistance. Try going into a shoe store on weekends. You’ll end up spending more time waiting for the sales assistant to get your shoes than trying them on. Needless to say, having my shopping done a fortnight ago after some girl talk over lunch at Nando’s with Jocelyn and Simin was exactly what I needed.

The E-Buzz crew: Jocelyn, Simin and myself
Photo courtesy of Jocelyn

My order: Extra Hot 1/4 Chicken with Old Style Chips and Corn
Photo courtesy of Jocelyn

Terrence, Jocelyn’s boyfriend joined us for lunch too but occupied himself by playing games on his iPhone while we girls were chatting away.

Terrence's way of killing time
Photo courtesy of Jocelyn

It was a pity that Jocelyn and Simin couldn’t join me for shopping. If not, we would have had the chance to give Simin a makeover like we did to Krystle, a friend of mine who couldn’t care less about fashion. Nevertheless, I had a great time strolling the aisle of the departmental stores and picking out items I liked.

My first purchase was a cognac-coloured vintage-looking skinny belt from Moris.

Moris' vintage-looking skinny belt, RM18

What I love about this belt is its tiny belt hole design on every 5 millimeters of the entire belt makes it stylish yet functional enough to be cinched on the waist or on the hips. It’s definitely a great buy and a fantastic alternative to Topshop’s leather mini plait belt selling at RM85 which I had eyed for quite some time. Thank God I didn’t buy the one from Topshop or I’ll curse myself when I see this similar one from Moris, which I got for RM18!

Topshop's leather mini plait belt, RM85

My next serious stop was ELEMENTS; after some quick rummaging through the clothing hung on steel rods and shelves of accessories. I fell in love with this pretty black suede wedges with tiny rhinestones on them the minute I laid eyes on them. I wanted to get my hands on them so badly but the sales assistant told me they ran out of sizes. Like WTF! I was so desperate I even asked her to call the other store in Gurney Plaza to check if they still have a pair in my size. But I was in no luck. From dressy outfits to laid back outfits, this pair of pretty suede wedges will look gorgeous paired with anything as they’re so versatile; but I guess it was just not my day. Nevertheless, I got myself something worth purchasing — adjustable leopard print skinny belt.

ELEMENTS' leopard print skinny belt, RM21.90

As Fall kicks in, animal print is this season’s fashion trend. Not only is this belt right on track with this season’s trend, it is as versatile as the skinny belt from Moris. Because of its belt length adjustability, it can be worn from the waist to the hips too. Its bold print can certainly dress up a simple outfit. It was priced at RM21.90; quite a good buy, I would say.

Before I made my way to Forever 21, I dropped by several stores. I went into a small boutique which I’ve always thought was too cramped for its bulky arrangement and spotted the exact dress I bought from the pasar malam (night market) in my neighbourhood three weeks ago. Despite already having owned that dress, I was curious to know how much the boutique was selling it for, so, I checked the price tag. The grey jersey dress with a frilled neckline which I bought for RM27 was priced at RM75! What a rip off! I feel sorry for the person who is going to buy the dress there.

Grey jersey dress from pasar malam
Original price: RM31.80
Discounted price: RM27

My next and final stop was Forever 21. I instantly became a lunatic when I saw the season clearance sales. The prices range from as low as RM7 to RM 75. That’s like 50 to 70 percent slash off its original prices. I went in and out of the fitting room like a dozen times and each time with 5 garments in my hands. Before I knew it, I spent 3 hours in the store till it closes and was not even done going through all the sales rack. There was this chic off-shoulder white graphic tee which caught my attention but I had to pass when I spotted a hole in it before making the payment.

Instead, I got my hands on these:

Forever 21's white jersey tee, RM25

Forever 21's off-shoulder top, RM40

Front & back view of Forever 21's leopard print zippered tunic, RM50

This zippered tunic is my best buy because of its zippers that run all the way from the top to the bottom of the tunic. Its dual-functionality makes it possible to be worn as a dress or could be turned into an oversized vest if the back is worn as front with the zippers unzipped.

Who said a country that experiences summer all year round couldn’t keep up with this season’s fashion trend. Simply wear your Fall trends into your summer clothing and you’ll make heads turn!

How I Pranked My Boyfriend

2010-10-13T14:11:00.010+01:00

It was 8.00pm. and the prime time news was on when my house phone rang. Being me, I hate to pick up the phone when I’m watching the news because that’s when I’d miss the story-- it’s like I know the lead but I don’t know its details. Simply because the phone was on the couch, I couldn’t pretend that I didn’t hear it ringing, so, I answered it. I had two options on how I could answer it: One, pretend that I was somebody else and say I’m not home if the call was for me. Or two, just answer the god damn phone and speak like I’m supposed to.

Me : Hello.
Caller : Hello. Can I speak to Vanitha please?
Me : She’s not at home.
Caller : Are you sure?
Me : Yeah. She’s out.
Caller : Baby, I know it’s you. Quit playing.
Me : No. Umm.. is this Wei Jin? (imitating the way my sister answers the phone when my boyfriend calls)
Caller : Yeah.
Me : Vanitha’s not at home. Why don’t you call her back later?
Caller : Umm.. Ok. Sure.
Me : Bye.
Caller : Bye.

And then he hung up, which I didn’t think he would. He must have really thought it was my sister. I must admit, I do sound a lot like her when I’m on the phone. Pulling a trick like that on my boyfriend was not intended to get rid of him for I wanted to watch the news. Out of instantaneous innocent fun, I felt like pranking him for all the times he didn’t fall for ever since he got fooled the same way. As the Chinese proverb goes, ‘Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.’ Shame on him, unfortunately, as he fell for it this time.

I called him back immediately after that and told him I was going to blog about him being pranked. He pleaded me not to. He didn’t want the whole world to know how foolish he can get sometimes.

But he changed his mind after I asked him, “Why? You don’t want people to know how sporting my boyfriend is? To be able to pull tricks on you and you still can laugh because you think it’s funny?"

"If you don’t want the world to know how awesome and cool of a boyfriend you are, then, alright, I won’t blog about it," I continued.

One moment he pleaded me not to blog about it; the next moment, he pleaded me to. That’s how silly my boyfriend can get and the more fun when I’m able to psycho (Malaysian slang for manipulate) his mind. I love to do that to him simply because his reactions are priceless and he’s the only guy I can do that to and he’ll play along and be cool with it.

That’s my silly and adorable guy.

The Difference Between Men and Women Having Sex

2010-10-10T17:39:00.009+01:00

I thought this can wait till tomorrow but I just had to share it with you now.

As I was talking to my boyfriend on Skype like every other day, he sent me links to check out - some funny, some bizarre, some disgusting and some sad. Half an hour ago, he sent me a Youtube link and he was as excited as a little boy high on sugar. To not let his spirits down, I clicked on the link he gave me almost immediately and waited patiently for the video to load. But knowing Malaysia’s Internet speed, you know how “fast” it can take. Several minutes later, I played the video not knowing its content and literally laughed my ass off throughout the whole video. I laughed so hard at one point I experienced stomach cramp but my voice box did not project the slightest of sound.

In this video that you are about watch, Carlos Mencia, a Honduran-born American comedian talks about G-Spot. Get ready for a 4 minutes 40 seconds wickedly funny truth about the differences between men and women having sex.

Stand-up comedian, Carlos Mencia
Photo credits to blogamole

My last piece of advice: Don't drink or eat when you're watching this video as you don't want to get yourself choked. Also, make sure you don't have children around you when you're watching it because it's strictly 18SX. Apart from that, enjoy laughing as much as you desire like I did. =D

Click replay because you know you want it. I’ve already watched it thrice!

University Student Could Lose Scholarship Over Porn Film

2010-10-10T11:49:00.004+01:00

Talks of an American student who engaged herself in an adult film audition that costs her her academic scholarship has been circulating in the Internet for the past few days.

In the video, Elizabeth Hawkenson, an undergraduate majoring in Geography and Liberal Arts at Arizona State University was seen flashing her ASU student identification card to prove she is over 18 years old before engaging in sexual acts for the “audition”. According to Phoenix New Times, the video appeared on the porn website Backroom Casting Couch.

Photo credits to Telegraph.co.uk

It is no adult modeling agency and the guy who conducts interviews with girls who are trying to land a job in this industry is no talent agent. He simply talks them into having sex. There is no job. The worst part is, the girls don’t even know that it’s a scam. Though it’s a paid site, Porn Hub, however, is not. Hawkenson’s video later travelled all over Porn Hub - youtube of porn.

Photo credits to Backroom Casting Couch

According to Telegraph.co.uk, Hawkenson is reported to have lost a scholarship worth $32,000 after the video was put on the Internet. However, Phoenix New Times reported otherwise.

Hawkenson knew that she was to do more than just pose for her nude photos to be taken. She also knew that she was going to be paid. She told Phoenix New Times that she found her way to the “casting couch” after she was short on tuition as her scholarship which is spread out for four years is not enough to cover her tuition fee of about $30,000 a year.

I was once a scholarship recipient in college and I understand that sometimes the scholarship awarded is not enough to cover tuition fees. If I were her, I wouldn’t have the guts to do it let alone think of such a solution for fear of losing my scholarship and dignity. If she was really at her wit’s end, she could have just applied for a study loan instead of opting for fast cash solution.

And if you think that the situation is not as bad as it looks, there was even an anonymous letter from a person claiming to be an ASU alumnus who wrote to the university board to demand Hawkenson’s scholarship to be revoked immediately as her actions were deemed shameful and degrading. However, Phoenix New Times reported that the Board of Regents says it never received the letter and Hawkenson says the scholarship hasn’t been revoked. The anonymous letter was probably how this whole rumour started and evolved into a scandal known worldwide and of course, the increased traffic on Porn Hub to view Hawkenson’s sizzling video.

Photo credits to Phoenix New Times

It is also believed that the letter was probably the work of the infamous 4chan users. In December 2006 and January 2007, users of 4chan launched DDoS attacks and prank called Hal Turner’s call-in radio show causing Turner’s website to go offline and the damage costed thousands of dollars. In October 2008, a hoax story was submitted to CNN’s user-generated news site, iReport.com claiming that Apple Inc. CEO, Steve Jobs had suffered a major heart attack causing the stock price of Apple Inc. to fall significantly.

Though it’s no surprise that users of 4chan are capable to execute such internet attacks to gain media attention, I don’t understand why they would waste their time and effort in causing detriment to the girl who was nobody. Perhaps, they were jumping into any chance they can get to gain media attention again. And this was an easy one to pull off as Hawkenson was asinine to show her student identity card which reveals her identity. That alone was enough information for highly skilled 4chan users. Nevertheless, it can only be proved if they decide to tell the truth or when investigation is carried out to trace the source.

Now that a student has turned into a porn star and the university is informed, I wonder if the university board would decide to revoke Hawkenson’s scholarship or take any disciplinary action like how it did to Brian Buck, former ASU student who also got himself involved in pornography in 2002.

Photo credits to Buzz Feed

According to Her, I Suck

2010-10-05T13:15:00.005+01:00

Wherever you are, you will always encounter a person who thinks he/she is Mr./Miss Know-It-All or Mr./Miss I’m Better Than You; be it at school, at work or even at home.

Photo credits to www.ialreadyknow.com

I personally have nothing against people who are knowledgeable in almost everything and smarter than me or better than me in doing something. In fact, I find them highly attractive. But it is when they think they’re right even when they’re not because they appear smarter; now that ticks me off. Being smart is not a crime but when one gets so full of himself and start belittling others, that’s when people find one conceited.

So what if she can cook better than I do? So what if she has better stamina than I do? So what if she eats lesser than I do? So what if she has a hotter boyfriend? So what if she has a bigger paycheck than I do?

I’m grateful that she can cook better because I would have the benefit of eating delicious food. I’m happy that she has better stamina because then she’ll be able to win the marathon which she signed up for and I could tell the whole world her success. I’m happy that she has a hot boyfriend-to-be; which girl wouldn’t want that? It’s a bonus! I’m even happy that she has a bigger paycheck which could possibly increase my chance of getting expensive gifts. =D

I honestly don’t care that she’s better than me in such aspect. There’s no harm in showing off but it’s unpleasant to offend others when she’s trying to show off.

Photo credits to TheNaomiShow

I might not be a master chef but at least I cook edible food. So, there is really no need in saying I’m 20 and it’s shameful that I can’t even prepare a simple dish. I might not be as fit as I was in my high school days but there’s no need in saying that I’m lousy, lazy and a fat pig every other day even in public just because she hits the gym 4 times a week these few years. I don’t remember giving her such names when I was as fit as a fiddle while she was a slacker and had fleshy meat. I might not be a nutritionist but I don’t eat like a sumo wrestler. Food is a temptation I can’t resist - a passion. So what has my food menu got to do with her? I might not have the hottest boyfriend in the world but he’s no Shrek. He’s good-looking enough for me and he treats me like a queen. That’s all that matters. There’s no need to tease and insult my boyfriend just because she thinks he’s not good enough. How would you like it if someone were to do that to your significant other? And I might not be a millionaire but at least I have extra income to spare from my freelancing job instead of burdening my mum. So what has my buying a jeans with my hard-earned money to reward myself has to do with her? It was not like I used her money. Since she now has a bigger paycheck, she didn’t even get me the gift she promised. Oh, and did I mention that it’s been years?

Alert: Attack of The Human Pest

2010-09-30T09:04:00.002+01:00

Road thugs are nuisance. But wannabe road thugs are pest that we fight hard to get rid off.

In Malaysia, road thugs are known as Mat Rempits who, most of them, are involved in illegal street racing. The word “rempit” is derived from “ramp it” (ramp the throttle) and “Mat” is a Malay slang used to address a person, much like how British address their friends as “mate”.

Gone were the days where you (read: few generations back) saw road users who are kind enough to give way to others; probably because there were not many vehicles on the road. Now you see road bullies everywhere — not those who have dozens of piercing on their faces nor with skulls, snakes, dragons or satanic tattoos on their bodies — but those who surprise you with a decent looking appearance.

Just as I made a left exit into the highway, a blue Proton Saga hogged the fast lane and a white minivan was cruising on the slow lane. Luckily, I managed to overtake the Saga after cruising behind the minivan for quite awhile. Just as I thought I could speed my way to Queensbay, the Saga squeezed into the small gap between my car and the car in front of me abruptly without even flashing his signal light. He was driving so recklessly I had to honk him. It was fatal and he should know better not to drag me in considering he is a father. Clearly, he was offended that I overtook him and he challenged me to race. I certainly wasn’t cruising for a bruising. Rather, I urgently needed to get to the bank in Queensbay before it closes at 4.00p.m but a hard-headed middle-aged man like him just couldn’t comprehend that I was not at all interested in his child play.

To not infuriate him any further (oh, like it’s my fault) I cruised at 50km/h on the highway behind a Picanto indicating that I didn’t want to race hoping that he would drive away. Much to my exasperation, he drove at the same speed on my right. Oh, I felt like strangling him! It was 15 minutes to 4.00p.m. and this pest was bugging me. I thought I could get rid of him as I was about to take the exit ramp on the left but the sight of his Saga already on the ramp made me questioned what I have done to be cursed like that — at least not on a day where urgent matter has to be done.

I was so angry I wanted to show him the middle finger before he took the left turn and disappeared. But I let it go. I am worth much more than to be like him — barbaric and uncivilized. I hope I don’t ever see him again on the roads and I pray that his five-ish son arrived at his irresponsible father’s destination safely without his seatbelt on.

If only I could have done this

I Don't Wear A Chastity Belt

2010-09-26T15:27:00.006+01:00

All I could remember from last Sunday was the good weather, my boyfriend left Penang and an interesting article in The Star newspaper that caught my attention.

It was a two-page article with colourful illustrations that further clarify and provide statistical prove to the writings. The headline read: Most youth don’t want to have pre-marital sex. (Click here for online article). Somehow, I find it hard to believe as cases of abandoned babies are on the rise in Malaysia. Skeptical, I read on. While it is true that about 46.5% answered in an online survey saying that they would only have sex when they were married, those who have had it, recording at a shocking 64.2% admitted that they have had sex without protection or any form of birth control before. With that, I conclude that the majority of the survey candidates were virgins and those who have had sexual intercourse were idiots.

Alright, let’s analyse this bit of information and hopefully you could digest it the same way I did.

1. 46.5% said they wouldn’t have pre-marital sex
So, wouldn’t that mean that these candidates were virgins at the time of answering the survey. Would a non-virgin have given the same answer? Go figure.

2. 64.2% said they have had sex without contraception

Why I call them idiots? Simple. Since they were able to answer the survey, it means they are educated. And if they are educated, don’t tell me they don’t know what a condom or birth control pill is. They were either wimps for being too shy to purchase a pack of Durex from 7/11 or got too excited when they were at it till they forgot about being safe. Either way, they’re still idiots. If they were so brave to have intercourse without thinking twice about the consequences, don’t tell me they didn’t have the guts to purchase a pack of condoms which doesn’t cost much than to regret the rest of their lives when it’s too late.

Nobody can stop one from having pre-marital sex if they intend to. But if you decide so, at least be wise enough to take necessary precaution. This message is in support of World Contraception Day’s mission in improving awareness of contraception to enable young people to make informed decisions on sexual and reproductive health.

Hereby, I would love to wish everyone Happy Contraception Day! May the women be protected from unwanted pregnancies and the men be protected from regretting their actions.

Click to expand

Contraception: It’s Your Life, It’s Your Responsibility.

Why The Internet Is My Best Companion

2010-09-24T14:33:00.008+01:00

Several days ago, I was punching the keys on my Macbook, penning my thoughts in an attempt to publish the finished writings here. Halfway through it, I thought I should just publish it next month in conjunction with a special occasion. =D

After finishing that yet to be published blog post in less than 30 minutes, I did what I know best - watch videos on Youtube and downloading movies.

One of my favourite websites, IMDb.com got me hooked at looking through its list of highly rated animation films as reference to some of the movie trailers I watched on Youtube. Switching between the two sites constantly, I suddenly found myself watching makeup tutorials by MAC Cosmetics senior artists. Don’t ask me how I ended up watching them because I myself do not have the slightest clue. I’m still in the midst of discovering how I deviated by going through my browser history though.

I must say MAC’s makeup artists are phenomenal - they make putting on makeup looks as easy as wiping them off. I spent hours watching all their tutorials and browsing their website. Oh, it made me want to purchase their products, especially their brushes and mineralized products. Check out this video.

It doesn’t look overdone but effortless and au naturale, doesn't it?

Did I add that that led me to visiting Bobbi Brown’s website as well as Revlon’s? I know Revlon is no where near MAC and Bobbi Brown’s range. Unfortunately, that’s the only makeup I can afford now. Nonetheless, I like that I can find an alternative for MAC and Bobbi Brown from Revlon except their foundation and concealer.

I have this tanned skin which is neither sun-kissed tan nor bronze. It’s like tan without the glow - I call it a faded tan. I hate it that I got fairer in the span of a month not being under the sun as often as I used to as it meant getting new makeup which equates to spending more. I hate to look at myself in the mirror after slapping foundation on my face because it looks like I just got a fake tan from the tanning salon. Revlon and all other similar range brands are doing me no justice by offering limited colour shades as I couldn’t find the right foundation that blends into my skin tone perfectly. Visiting MAC’s and Bobbi Brown’s website and knowing that they have 16 to 20 different shades could help my skin but not my wallet - they’re 3 times more expensive than Revlon! But I’ve never found and worn the perfect shade that matches my skin tone. So what am I to do?

Oh, how I wish to own at least one Bobbi Brown product. It’s my all-time favourite makeup brand because of its warm colours that matches any skin tone, especially mine. Medium to dark skin tone ladies, this is your best bet yet in getting makeup products that work for you.

My sister owns RM1000 worth of Bobbi Brown products thanks to BluInc for choosing her as the winner of some contest in Cleo Magazine last year. God, I envy her and feel like using her makeup without her permission. GAH!

To avoid committing any rash actions, I sought comfort in watching cartoons. Hence, my sudden addiction to them. In just three days, I’ve downloaded and watched eight cartoons: Corpse Bride, Mary and Max, Pocahontas, Ponyo, Spirited Away, The Simpsons Movie, The Bee Movie and The Ant Bully. Of the eight, I loved Mary and Max the most. It’s one clever animation film produced with compelling script and punchy yet humorous lines. Let me just share some of the lines I still remember from watching it:
"Her birthmark the colour of poo."
"She drank his words like a bowl of alphabet soup."
"Do you know that turtles can breathe through their anuses?"
"Babies are laid by Catholic nuns. If you're Atheist, they're laid by dirty lonely prostitutes."

I better not tell you so much as it spoils the fun. Why don’t you watch it and try telling me otherwise.

I even have the download link to share. Enjoy watching! =D

Hit Your G-Spot Much?

2010-09-12T15:27:00.004+01:00

Grilled. Glorious. Groovy. Gempak. Goody-licious. Gaya. And now, it’s really GONE.

I was upset, more to devastated upon knowing that the greatest tasting chicken burger was no longer on the McDonald’s Malaysia menu. I have only had it twice and hadn’t had enough. I was practically craving for it two days ago and having had to stare at the not so appetizing menu without GCB in it for two minutes was clearly hard enough to decide what to eat. I knew that it was for a limited time only but I didn’t expect it to be removed from the menu so fast. Two months promotion is way too short. If you’re a GCB lover like me, you’ll certainly agree with me. The GCB slogan scored the bull’s eye - it was definitely love at first bite. As a sucker for anything grilled to juicy bites, this tender grilled whole chicken thigh layered with char-grilled sauce and topped with lettuce was made to perfection and simply irresistible. It was a burger of happiness.

Photo credits to LotsofStuffs

If you see me carving a half smile with my eyes dancing at the first bite and continues eating silently without offering to share, you know you want it. And GCB was close to being in my ‘Reach Orgasm Food’ list. It was not because it wasn’t good enough to stand a chance to be in the list, but, because this list is usually reserved for food that is sugary and cheesy. Despite that, it aroused my taste buds like no other.

However, It is without a doubt that GCB was a little pricier than its other burger varieties, but I wouldn’t mind paying a little extra to eat a healthier fast food burger. A grilled chicken patty is better than a fried one, no? Besides, how often do you come across grilled chicken burger?

The response was phenomenal. Its sales better be able to make McDonald’s take a wise step in making GCB available throughout the whole year. I don’t want to be waiting for it like how I wait for Prosperity Burger every year.

In an unrelated note, Wei Jin is coming to Penang tomorrow for a week to spend some quality time with me and to attend my graduation this Saturday. After all, this would be the last time I’ll be seeing him before he goes to UK this 25th for his Masters. Fourteen more hours till his arrival and I’m already all excited. Having said that, I better get some good sleep tonight as my day would be devoted to him tomorrow. My eyelids are shutting slowly like the curtains draw to a close of a play on stage and my body’s aching from spring cleaning my room the entire afternoon.

Let’s call it a night now.

Assalamualaikum!

2010-09-10T04:45:00.005+01:00

It’s that time of the year again.

Selamat Hari Raya

Maaf Zahir dan Batin.

This shoutout goes to all Muslims worldwide, especially to my Muslim friends.Having said that, it makes me wonder why none of my Muslim friends invited me for their open house? Maybe this will help you remember?

I shall stalk each and everyone of my Muslim friends later in Facebook. For now, I gotta hi the shower and get dressed to go for my sister’s friend’s open house. I’m salivating at the thought of rendang, ketupat, lemang and all those kuih raya.

Gotta run now!

Photo credits to geocities.com

This Blog Might Shutdown

2010-09-09T12:07:00.008+01:00

I’ve spent the whole afternoon researching the pros and cons of ‘migrating’ and I’m still in a dilemma. Should I or should I not switch to Word Press?

Photo credits to Naeem Noor

Here are some of the pros and cons of migrating that I’ve come up with:

Pros

More customizable features are available
Full control of blog
Plenty of gorgeous layout themes to choose from
Easier to resize and arrange images to fit the way I want
Supports image and video uploading via offline blog editor

Cons

Only 3GB of file storage
Only Word Press members are able to leave comments without restrictions
Might lose readership as some might not locate the new blog

Having stumbled upon this article further adds to my wits’ end. I need advice, especially from users of Word Press. So, Blogger or Word Press?

Photo credits to gadgetcage.com

How Can I Not Love Being With Those Whom I Care

2010-09-08T07:39:00.010+01:00

Do you remember how your first birthday was celebrated? Neither do I. We would probably just open our cupboard and dig out those old photos after ten years and still don’t have a clue as to how it was. So, I really don’t get it why parents are willing to spend a fortune on their child’s first birthday if the child can even enjoy it, let alone remember it. Perhaps, I would only understand when I become a parent one day.

Remember my 8-year-old smarty pants niece I mentioned before? Well, her brother who loves to pout when he doesn’t get what he wants celebrated his lavish first birthday at Royal Selangor Club on August 14th.

Lucky for my nephew who has aunts and grandaunt who love him very much, my family and I drove all the way to KL just to celebrate his birthday. Even my boyfriend and his parents attended the birthday party. There were close to 100 guests who were relatives as well as my cousin and her husband’s friends and colleagues.

I don’t even remember my first birthday being celebrated like that. It felt like I was attending a wedding dinner rather than a birthday party as we were all dressed up in matching accessories with our hair and makeup done.

You don’t see me much in those candid moments as I was busy capturing every single bit of it. What can I say? I was asked by my cousin to be the official videographer. =D

All things must come to an end. This birthday party goes without saying. My mum, uncle and sisters needed to leave for Penang the very next day but not me, as I was still on holidays and granted permission by my mum to stay in KL longer. Sweet! I stayed at my cousin’s for several days before I went to my boyfriend’s place, again.

Another week in KL was pure bliss and abuse. More shopping and cravings for mi hun kueh aside, I was literally abused by Wei Jin’s newly purchased Wii on the first day I got there. You think Wii Sports couldn’t work you out like outdoor sports because it involves limited arm exercise? Think again. My days were spent playing Wii and we finished playing Resident Evil: The Darkside Chronicles together in less than two days! We were bored out of our mind for having finished the game so fast, so, we went to purchase more games. As a Wii beginner, I must say that it’s quite impressive that I was a pro at killing zombies in less than 3 days. I even beat my boyfriend’s scores in House of the Dead: Overkill.

But my entire week wasn’t just devoted to killing zombies. I could watch some brutal ass-kicking movie too. Speaking of which, that was when I bumped into my good friend, Kar Mun and her boyfriend, Aris, at 1 Utama’s GSC ticketing counter. The planned meet up was supposed to be the following day, but fate led us to watching The Expendables together. Though it was not much of a story line, it was still one heck of a movie with all my favourite action heroes together.

After several attempts of wanting to double date, it finally materialized at The Apartment for dinner. It was so good to see Kar Mun and Aris again after like, what, a day? We girls were too busy to entertain the boys during the first half of the dinner and they were left to talk about games and what not.

The couple I love hanging out with

The single funniest thing that happened that night has got to be the black waiter who looked at my boyfriend intriguingly with a half smile on his face and asked him, ‘you sure you don’t want another one?’ upon seeing him absorbed in scooping for the last drop of gravy that was left on his plate. That made us all laughed, even Wei Jin.

Lovin' his new haircut!

Kar Mun was clearly there just for something light, sugary and melts in her mouth instantly. Red Velvet cake was her drug. Only cool people are considered Red Velvet Club members, according to Aris. Shunned, I got myself a slice of the cake and gained immediate lifetime membership. Oh, yeah! Only people who enjoy Red Velvet cake are considered members. If you don’t, then shoo!

Add caption

The most orgasmic cake I've ever tasted.
For those who can't reach orgasm. Just kidding!

Shisha after dinner was not such a bad idea after all since Wei Jin has never gave it a try. Of course, we only went to the best shisha in town at al-Saffa. You can bet that we went ding-dong (stoned) a little judging by the photos. I had it a little too fast and slightly more than I could take, it made me feel sick after. But what is more relaxing than chilling with friends at mamak’s?

And what better way to end my holidays in KL than to be captivated by the mesmerizing beauty of lights with my other half. Somehow, I regard i-City as a symbol of our undying love for each other as the city is lit up by millions of LED lights that would not allow it to be consumed by darkness. Likewise, you can’t just turn off our LED lights as you please.

Nephew's birthday photos credit to Wei Jin

The Apartment photos credit to Kar Mun

I Love Him for All The Joy Rides He's Given Me

2010-09-07T02:56:00.014+01:00

If you’re living in Penang, you’ll know that it’s been raining every single day for the past two days. The weather has been perfect to stay home and do nothing else but to indulge in a cup of hot chocolate and reading a good book. Ahhh.. that’s exactly how I would like to spend my afternoon. With perfect weather like that, I can’t find anything better to do than snuggling in my bed, wrapping myself into a cocoon with my blanket and hugging my bolster tightly like I’m cuddling my boyfriend.

The alarm rang at 7.00a.m. sharp and god knows how many times I put it to snooze before I turned it off. Sometimes, when I get so lazy to even turn it off and it keeps snoozing, it becomes music to my ears. And my sleeping late last night didn’t help. I was unable to get myself up to go for my morning run. Needless to say, the weather did not help either. How often is the temperature at 25 degree Celsius than the usual 32 degree Celsius?

I love holidays. Who doesn’t? I also hate holidays because that’s when my mum stops giving me pocket money. She thinks pocket money is only necessary to be given when classes start. =( But that didn’t stop me from enjoying my holidays since my final examinations were over in end of July.

The day after I finished my last paper, I flew to KL to visit my boyfriend. Did I mention that it was my first time sitting an airplane? Yes, I know, at the age of 20. A little too old for my first time. But who cares? It was one of the most exhilarating experiences I encountered. For the first time in my life I felt weightless and was 30,000 feet above sea level. When I looked out the window, I saw the most breathtaking views I’ve ever seen. I saw the clouds before me so close I could almost touch it, hoping that it would burst like bubbles if poked.

I was so excited I forgot to take a photo of the mackerel sky,
hence, I stole it from the Internet.
Photo credits to Christopher Fisher

I thought I was in heaven as it looks like it, at least that’s what it looks like in the movies. It was so beautiful and serene, I suddenly felt like skydiving; crashing into the cotton candy clouds before I see the ground and experiencing a free fall at 200km/h before pulling the trigger to the deployment of my parachute. The entire joy ride was exciting except that it was a mere 45 minutes - too short to really enjoy the ride, really. Despite that, I wouldn’t miss it for the world.

The two weeks I had with my boyfriend was like an escapade. He drove me around to try all the mouth-watering food and satisfied my cravings for bak kut teh, Hainan curry rice, pork noodle, Amarin Heavenly Thai and IKEA’s Swedish meatballs. Yumm!!! Who wouldn’t fall in love with those meatballs? I fell in love with it the second I took my first bite, thanks to my cousin, Jess Min for introducing it to me.

How can anyone possibly resist such succulent meatballs?
Photo credits to dealtera.com

Like all the other times I visited KL, what better to do than to go shopping? This time, however, we did many more exciting activities than shopping. We went to Putra World Trade Centre with the help of my boyfriend's new toy, the GPS, to attend some diving expo which intrigued him. You can’t imagine how clueless I was when he kept talking to his god sister about diving with all those jargons. It was as if they were speaking foreign language. He’s already a licensed open water diver and intends to go commercially professional. Thankfully, he got himself some really great deals after spending almost three hours there, which drove me a little nuts. Unfortunately, his mum didn’t allow him to take the advanced open water + nitrox course as she thought that it was far too dangerous. =(

On to a less dangerous sport, we went bird-watching after. Is bird-watching even a sport? Let’s just leave it there now, shall we?

Never thought pelicans could sit

KL Bird Park was clean! Even the toilet smelled so good I could just take a nap in there. I know it’s not the first thing I should be saying about the world’s largest free-flight walk-in aviary, but you know how public toilets are in Malaysia. This is certainly something to be proud of. Too bad I didn’t take a photo of it. It didn’t even cross my mind at all until now. At least I took a ton of other photos.

The emu feeding session was incredible but the lories feeding session was far more spectacular. The lories came flying towards me like charging bulls as soon as I held some food in my hands after paying RM2 for it. They were clawing my arms so tight they left scratch marks all over. All of them rested on my arms except for this cheeky one which rested on my shoulder and slowly made its way to my head. I was praying so hard it doesn’t shit on my head because that’s the last thing I want as a memory of visiting the park.

My boyfriend even had his chance of feeding the lories. Unfortunately, they charged at him a little too aggressively until it made him dropped the food he just paid seconds ago. Poor him, the birds flew away because he has no food for them. However, the zookeeper was kind enough to give him a handful of sunflower seeds to feed the lories. One after another flew back to his arms. He was as happy as a kindergartner! It brought out the child in us for a day.

Priceless!

It Was Oscar Minus The Acceptance Speech, Glamourous Outfits and The Night

2010-09-05T14:29:00.008+01:00

Ever experienced the feeling of enjoying yourself too much till you completely forgot of something which is rather important - something that you would regret if you missed it?

It is exactly a week ago since I came back for my second holiday in Kuala Lumpur - one which I dreaded to end for I know that I will not be seeing my boyfriend until this January. As much as I love spending time with him, I knew that I had to come home to my family anyway and to look for a part-time job since I have completed my Diploma.

On Independence Day, my course mate called me up. I had it so clear in my mind that she called to wish me Happy Independence Day. To my surprise, she actually called to ask me whether or not I’ll be attending my college’s Golden Achievement Awards presentation ceremony (an award presentation ceremony similar to Oscar to give recognition to students’ hard work) on September 2nd. It immediately struck me that the ceremony was only two days away and that I completely forgot all about it.

I was so anxious and nervous the night before the big day that I could not fall asleep till I got tired of tossing and turning in my bed. I remember telling my boyfriend on the phone that night that I am not sure of getting the Best Student Award as I do not know of my course mates grades. But I sure do hope to get it as it was my goal. I also remember telling him that I wanted my group to win the Best Documentary Award as we’ve worked extremely hard for it, making changes after changes in perfecting it. I really did hope all those sleepless nights, stone hard shoulders and dark circles were worth it.

My heart was pounding so hard I could even hear it despite the emcees’ voices piercing through the speakers as they were just about to announce the Best Student in Broadcast Journalism. Just as my name was called, it felt like I just scored a winning goal of a football match. I can’t exactly explain how I felt as it was more than words. All I know was that I suddenly felt like I was invincible and extremely proud and satisfied of myself for having achieved my primary goal in life; at least in my college life.

Best Student Awards presented by a member of Board of Directors

Best Students of each course

Standing high and mighty

As my team mates and I were eagerly anticipating the broadcast journalism production awards, we were entertained with dance, singing and sketch performance by our fellow juniors. I must say, some put up a good show and some were very creative. So, thumbs up to them!

I didn’t know how long it took before it was time for the broadcast journalism production awards, but all I know was that my butt was almost sore for sitting too long. When the projector shone the nominations for the Best Documentary Award on the screen, my nervous jitters came back. When my team mates and I saw ‘Teochew Opera’ being nominated, we were so sure that our ‘It’s Time to Wake Up’ can kiss goodbye to the award. We wouldn’t be so sure if it’s not for our lecturer who told us that she thought ‘Teochew Opera’ was much better than ours and she was a little disappointed with my team as she expected far more. However, our documentary on the awareness of breast cancer was not a disappointment after all after reediting it. I was practically shrieking in joy and gripping one of my team mates’ hands so tightly when we were announced the winner. This time I felt like I just scored with my winning smash hit of a competitive tennis game which the score was always a deuce. It was that close to winning, but it was also that close to losing.

'It's Time to Wake Up' wins Best Documentary

I didn’t know how the other team felt when we were up on stage receiving our trophy and certificates because I know they wanted it as well as I saw the effort they put in producing their documentary. I know I’m supposed to be ecstatic with the win, but, somehow, I felt a little sorry for the other team as my lecturer gave so much hope to them; but that was before she and the other team saw the final product of my team’s documentary.

The man who presented the award is one of the panel of jury
who told us that the juries enjoyed watching our documentary

Those who did not walk home with awards in their hands are still winners. Like my aunt and everybody else say, “everyone’s a winner”. It’s easy for winners to say that because they really won something, but those who did not win anything will always say “It’s easy for you to say because you’re the winner,” which I find it downright true, at least technically. If we see it at a different perspective, people, especially adults love to use the phrase, ‘everyone’s a winner’ to comfort us, to let us know that we already are winners when we put our sweat and time in doing something. At least we tried our best in successfully completing it rather than giving up halfway; now that’s a true winner! I always tell this to myself to remind myself of the effort I’ve put in as thinking positive drives me to strive better rather than discouraging myself by saying I’m not good enough. ‘Teochew Opera’ team is one tough competitor and I’m honoured to have competed with them. Thumbs up to them!

All these achievements would not have been mine if it’s not for the support of my family, guidance from my lecturers and my helpful course mates especially Lay Ai, my assistant editor who stayed up with me to edit the documentary; Soo Ling, my producer and director who was effective in her tasks; Jin Xian, my efficient production assistant and Wan Ting, the interviewer and the one who did the transcription. If it wasn’t for her, I wouldn’t be able to write a good script. I had a wonderful team and I owe it to them!

Those times my team mates stayed over at my house
to complete the documentary

If it wasn’t for Soo Ling who called to remind me to attend the ceremony, I would have just missed my once in a lifetime chance of receiving the awards. I owe you one, Soo Ling!

My producer and director for our documentary, Soo Ling

The rest of the morning was spent taking photos...

Best Student in Journalism, Broadcasting, PR & Advertising
as well as Broadcast Journalism all hail from
Communication Research Methods group members.

The Most Promising Reporter Award goes to Kiatisak and Susan

Best Copywriting Award won by Aniq

These are for you, Dad!

My two priced possessions!

It Was On The Rack, And Now It Belongs To Me

2010-06-29T02:30:00.004+01:00

Remember that Topshop skirt I was madly in love with some time back? The one which I blogged about with pictures and a whole lot of description? Yeah, this one.

Three months ago, I blogged it with this picture...

And now, this...

Aha! Hell, yeah! I got the skirt. I received several comments on my previous post - some told me to just go ahead and purchase it if it makes me as happy as a bird, while some said it’s not worth the penny at all because Topshop apparels are way overpriced; that’s what I think. Nevertheless, the hypocritical me got it anyway without even ripping a hole in my pocket. No, I certainly did not steal it. Instead, I got it for free - as a gift - my 20th birthday present!

Two weeks after I first laid eyes on this Topshop waist bodycon skirt, I was so sure that I was going home to Penang as my internship was over at NTV7, leaving KL without the skirt. Days before my departure, I was surprised by my friend with a rectangular red box tied with a white ribbon.
“For your birthday... in advance, as I won’t be seeing you for a long time” he said.

I opened the box carefully and the sight of what was inside made my eyes sparkled and my lips curved like the shape of the moon. I was intoxicated. It took me almost ten seconds after I said ‘oh my god’ several times to actually give my friend a respond which began with a simple ‘thank you’. I didn’t know what else to say and how to thank him, so I gave him a friendly hug. It’s amazing how one can see through another’s eyes and read another’s mind without being told what’s crossing in another’s mind. He is definitely one friend who can see through it all and that’s what I call a great friend.

When I was back in Penang, I tried on the skirt several times and simply couldn’t believe my eyes - couldn’t believe that I actually own that skirt. Though I felt like wearing it the night before my birthday - the night I went to the pub with my sisters - I saved it for some other day as I didn’t want it to end up having the stench of cigarette smoke.

An expensive skirt that would have to end up smelling like burnt grass is definitely not pretty and a very bad decision made. It was only a week after my birthday did I get myself fitted snugly into the Topshop skirt when I went out with my girls.

This is by far one of my favourite birthday presents, aside from my Baskin Robbin’s Oreo flavoured ice cream cake.

My friend is a total genius!

I'm Still Alive

2010-06-28T14:34:00.004+01:00

It seems like I’m missing from the face of the blog world since forever, at least that’s what Aniq thought. He told me, more like complained that each time he visits my blog, he sees the same old posts and he read my recent old post more than once already. Because of what he said, I assumed that my readership would have plunged to probably one per day. Haha! As curiosity strikes, I checked my sitemeter and it read, “average visits per day: 3” So, I guess it’s a sign for me to start my engine and rev it at appropriate occasions?

First of all, I wanna apologise to all my readers for leaving you unnotified. It sounds as If I have tons of readers. I probably have readers as many as my fingers could count, don’t even need to use my toes. Heh! Despite all the assignments that kept me occupied all the time, nearly three months away from blogging world is unacceptable. That’s exactly like how I was deprived of shopping for three whole months until two days ago. Alas, a breath of fresh air - how liberating. I felt like a fish who just got its tank cleaned after three months. Imagine all the dirt and shit that clogged the tank up and prevented my Romeo (oxygen) from rescuing me (Juliet) with a kiss of fresh air. OK. Now, I’m being overly dramatic. As taught in Malay literature, it’s known as hiperbola.

Back to reality. So where shall I begin? There’s way too many things that had happened the past three months. How am I ever going to be able to blog about everything? I’ll just have to list them down. Give me a second. I’ll need to skim through my iPhoto and Facebook statuses to recollect.

My sister and I got ambitious and tried making ice cream for the first time. Somehow, some way, she spoilt it and I was trying real hard to fix it. But my effort was to no avail after two grueling hours. We had to throw it away and start all over again. The amount of eggs wasted!
Took my mum out for dinner to celebrate her 58th birthday.
Catch up session with Christine, Catherine and Jocelyn
Somebody vandalised my car in the college parking area. I blame the college for that as it allowed students without car stickers to park in the college. Hence, lack of parking space and I was one of its unfortunate victims.
Catch up session with Kar Mun, Erica, Yuh Ting, Aris and Rekka
Sleep deprived for more than 72 hours all thanks to assignments. Now, am I a superwoman or what?
Got myself a voiceover job to earn extra pocket money
Went to Queensbay to watch The Karate Kid with my mum, aunt and sister. The movie was fantastic - a good remake from the 1984 The Karate Kid. A must-watch!
Went to CGL with the girls to have brunch in the canteen. It was good to see Janis, Cheng Yee, Janice and Krystle after so long. After filling our stomachs we headed to Gurney Plaza for shopping and more catching up. I was fun to give Krystle a mini makeover.
Went to watch Knight & Day with my sister in Queensbay. Later in the night, I joined my girls for some dancing and partying.

Entering Adulthood

2010-04-12T12:30:00.005+01:00

Last, last weekend... yes, two weekends ago, was my 20th birthday.It fell on a Saturday, 3rd April. Some of you knew how I celebrated my birthday last year - tragic. And it still was tragic the day before my birthday this year as my family is still haunted by the shadows of that day. My family still reminisce it in solemn and I still do as I read this post from time to time.

This year, however, turned out to be one of my best birthdays. The night before my 20th birthday, my sisters brought me to the pub to celebrate my adulthood. There, I met my sister’s friends as well.

As I was still not fully recovered from my cough, I refrained from consuming alcohol. I ordered a virgin colada while my two sisters had red wine and screaming orgasm. Before the clock even strike 12 midnight, I received calls from my boyfriend in UK, eldest sister in Indonesia, colleague in KL and a bunch of my good friends. My sisters and her friends had to wait till I finished answering all my calls before they could sing me the birthday song. My sisters sang so loud, everybody was literally looking at me. Because my sisters were uber loud, the pub was notified that it was my birthday. Hence, I’ve got a mini flaming lamborghini on the house. Sweet!

It was so tiny that I finished it in a suck. It was over so fast I barely tasted anything.

“Cheh! I thought it was gonna be the tall flaming lamborghini,” I somewhat groused.

Moments later, the bartender brought me the tall flaming lamborghini. I startled - I was confused.

“You said you wanted the real one, so I’m granting your wish.” said my sister’s friend.

“I was just saying. That’s all. I didn’t mean it,” I replied.

Because of my big mouth, I had to finish it all by myself as my sisters ignored my pleading and refused to help me with the drink. This time, I definitely tasted everything there was to be tasted and felt everything I should feel. It was close to getting me intoxicated.

Notice my frown? It explains everything.

Despite spending the rest of the night listening to bad music, it was still so much fun having to kick off my birthday with my two wonderful sisters.

But my birthday celebration didn’t just stop there. I went out with one my good friends, Christine, to Gurney Plaza. We had long talks over sushi for lunch while skimming through those photos we took in Roxy’s fitting room.

We occupied the fitting room for the longest time ever, the salesgirl thought we fainted in there or in a mission of trying to steal the clothes. She had to ask us whether the clothes fitted or not. It was then that we realised we were in there for more than 30 minutes! We quickly stopped our camwhoring and made our exit graciously.

This happens if I'm in the fitting room with Christine

Time passed by so quickly as we were enjoying our conversation in Sushi King. We had to constantly check the time; afraid that we would miss our movie. I’ve been dying to watch The Lovely Bones and I finally did. It was quite an impressive movie, I would say. Good story line.

Shoe and bag shopping was pretty much what we did after the movie. Unfortunately, we didn’t find anything we like that’s worth buying. Boo hoo! But I still liked the Lady Gaga ankle boots I tried in Charles and Keith.

After I dropped Christine back home, I headed home for dinner with my family. My mum cooked one of my favourite dishes, kangkung sambal belacan! Yummm!!!

What a splendour!

Dinner was tantalizing enough, I thought; until my birthday cake was placed in front of me - an ice cream cake! It wasn’t just any ice cream cake. It was Baskin Robbin’s Oreo flavoured ice cream cake!

Extremely yummy!

The cake was as hard as a rock, I tell you.

In 20 years of my life, this is the first time I had ice cream cake for my birthday and the second time I actually ate it. My sister’s the best! She granted my wish! Oh, I love her. Perhaps, that’s the joy of having siblings and being the youngest in the family. I get to be pampered by my older sisters once in a while. Whee! I’m a happy girl!

I have the greates sister in the whole wide world!

Even my granny wanted a bigger piece of the cake
What do you expect? It's Baskin Robbins!

Despite how I celebrated my birthday last year, this is by far the best birthday I’ve ever had! And I thank everyone who made it happen for me.

Fast and Furious!

2010-03-28T16:00:00.015+01:00

I’m back in Penang, yo!

Did anybody miss me?

It was Saturday, 27th March. It was time to go back to where I belong despite thinking that I’m more of a KL wild child than laid back Penang home girl. Having said that, it’s still always good to be back home - to sleep in my comfortable bed, to open the fridge as I please, to gobble on my mum’s cooking, to laze around every corner of the house, and oh yes, to finally drive again!

I bid my farewell to my friends, relatives and colleagues in KL on Friday as I headed to my cousin’s place to stay the night. Oh, how I missed home-cooked food. I ate like a glutton and continued stuffing myself with vegetable curry/poruppu, stir fry long beans, deep-fried mushrooms and crispy deep-fried miniature-sized fish until my stomach was about to explode. Believe me, I couldn’t even stand straight after that; my heavy belly was making me hunch forward.

After that hearty lunch, my two sisters and I started our journey back to the island where I can finally see the sea again. We pretty much started our journey at 4:00pm and set foot in Penang at 8:00pm. Four-hour journey, you think? It was far less than that as we made two stops along the way - first, at Tapah and second, at Bukit Gantang. When we were at Tapah, my second sis said she wanted to get some fruits but didn’t. We all knew what we wanted - Baskin Robbins! Being sweet-tooths whom we all are, we enjoyed our ice-cream for a good 30 minutes.

At Bukit Gantang, we only meant to stop for toilet break and nothing else, which we did. But the toilet break was longer than usual - a whole 20 minutes. Oh yes, my stomach gave me trouble and I was guessing that it was because of lunch? Heh! And the funny thing is, my sister thought I fell into the toilet bowl because I squatted too long while carrying my laptop bag that weighed a tonne. For what it’s worth, I did not fall into the toilet bowl but I had difficulty standing up as my limbs were all numb thanks to my interminable squatting.

So, an assumed four-hour journey minus 50 minutes of break time equals the exact time taken for the whole journey, no? You do the math.

My second sis was driving at an average speed of 140km/h. How do you think we were able to get home in time for dinner? She was practically flashing the cars in front of hers with her headlights almost all the time. Even so, some of them still hogged the fast lane at the speed of 90km/h and refused to budge. This, my fellow readers, infuriates my sister above anything else.

So, the situation went like this...

2nd Sis: Arrrggghhhh!!!!
Me: Chill sister!
2nd Sis: No. I can’t!
Me: I think you’re meant to drive on Sepang International Circuit.
2nd Sis: I would if they allow women to race. But too bad, they don’t. A true race car driver have injuries and scars and I’m up for it.
Me: I know you do.

Flash!

Flash!

2nd Sis: Arrrrggghhhh!!!! MOVE!
Me: Chill sister! Do you need ice?
2nd Sis: No. I need a shotgun!Me: For what?
2nd Sis: To shoot all these nuisance!
Me: Haha!!!

3rd Sis: She needs an MK-47!
2nd Sis: No, I think I need a bazooka!
Me: Feisty!

Fast and furious, ain’t she? Better fasten your seatbelt if you’re in her car and don’t try messing with her on the road! Who says ladies are lousy drivers? Meet my sister and she’ll show you what driving really is. Even men said she drives like a man! Oh, and who says ladies are horrible at parking? Try to do a perfect side parking in less than 5 seconds. If you can’t then it’s better that you men shut your gaps. Ooops!

As we were about to arrive in Penang, I made a confession to my sister, “You know what? I miss the fun and adrenaline rush I had in KL. But you, my sister had given me the best adrenaline rush I’ve ever experienced. You are the best, hands down!”

She replied with a chuckle.

It's amazing that I managed to capture this while
my sister was driving at insane speed.

I don't feel too good.

I'm gonna fall sick, I know.

Awesome! This is how Penang welcomes me home.

Curves and All That

2010-03-23T04:44:00.002Z

I’m so determined and goal driven that I’ve been working out for the past two weeks.

500 front crunches and 300 side crunches each side everyday.

I better be able to see some results in two months or it’s definitely wasting my time and effort; which reminds me, I need to eat less. I want tight, sexy, washboard abs like Adriana Lima’s and Alessandra Ambrosio’s!

With a figure like that, no more sucking in my tummy and hello tight dresses. =D

Gotta stay focus while I’m strongly motivated.

You can do it Vanitha!

Can't Stop Leaving Me Alone

2010-03-19T01:32:00.006Z

This is tormenting.

It’s been a week and it’s still haunting me. How do I get rid of it? Or should I just let it continue haunting me? I’ve also been dreaming about it almost every night.

It all happened when I went to Mid Valley last week - third time in three weeks. It’s addictive, I tell you - all those beautiful and trendy clothing being displayed in a very appealing manner. The fact that those gorgeous dresses, sexy boyfriend T-shirts as well as tight skirts and skinny jeans being worn by mannequins only make things worse - increase my addiction level, hence, blow off my addiction meter.

I’ve been known as an observant person and my eyes simply know how to spot anything which spells B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L from a mile away. Blessed with this gift and equipped with a perfect vision, I spotted this hot piece at Mid Valley last week - been eyeing it for quite some time now. I still remembered how I held it in my hand and stare at it in admiration. Gosh, it was so tempting. As much as I hate letting it go, I forced myself to walk out of the store as fast as my feet could move.

‘Don’t look back. Don’t look back’, the voice in my head kept repeating the words.

My friend then broke the silence when we were in another store.

“Do you wanna go back there and give it a try?” he asked.

“Huh?” I replied.

“Yeah, you know. The skirt in the store just now,” he answered.

I replied, “It’s better if I don’t or I’ll get too tempted to purchase it.”

“Come on. Just give it a try. Let’s go,” he persuaded.

“No, I cant,” I pleaded.

“At least try it if it makes you feel better,” he coaxed.

I walked right back into the store, looked for my size and marched to the fitting room. I was so excited like a little girl who has just been given candy. I haven’t even try it yet, unsure of whether it’ll fit me perfectly, but my heart was already jumping in joy.

I put it on, adjusted it a little and turned to face the mirror.

My gosh, I was blown away at how good it made me look. Somehow, it made me look slimmer - as if I had a smaller waist and contours my every curves at the right places perfectly. My... tell me I didn’t fall in love with it. But how can I not? Which girl wouldn’t want to wear something that makes her look slim, tall, hot and gorgeous?

Take a look and you tell me...

Yeah, so now you know...

It’s a Topshop waist bodycon skirt. But the downside of it - it’s freaking expensive for a cotton skirt - RM126. It’s totally out of my budget. I’ve never own any clothing that’s that expensive, except my prom dress. Nevertheless, I’m head over heels in love with it. Geez.. it’s awfully tempting.. so irresistible! I’m still thinking about it after exactly a week since I last laid my eyes on it, excluding the gazillion times I’ve scoped it on the Topshop website.

So guys, tell me what I should do. Please save me from my misery. I’m suffocating here. GAH!!!

Where's My Knight In Shining Armour?

2010-03-05T07:07:00.012Z

Abashed. Distressed. Upset. Remorseful. Disappointed.

These are probably the five adjectives best describe the mixed feelings I have yesterday.

After I got back from my assignment yesterday, I went to see my assignment editor to brief him on the story as per usual. But before I could even do so, he chided at me and then it sort of escalated to a lambaste. Apparently, I started off in a displeasing manner and it ticked him off. Yeah, sorta like flashing the car in front of you with your headlights causing the driver to stop abruptly, gets off the car and within seconds, you see his fist flying to your direction and BAM! You feel your cheek exploding through your squinted eye.

'How do you know that there's no story?', 'Who taught you to say that?, 'So you decide that there's no story and not the editor?'

Those were some of the questions that were thrown at me - like I was stoned to death? I know I'm exaggerating the whole situation but it definitely felt like it at the moment. Those questions made my brain stopped functioning for a second and I was definitely tongue-tied for a moment. Nevertheless, my blood managed to gush to my brain fast enough to knock myself out from that caught-me-off-guard state.

I answered his questions, briefed him the story and told him my reasons. But it seemed like the more I spoke, the worse the situation got; that was basically how the whole conversation heated up and got my assignment editor's blood boiled up from 35 degree Celsius to 100 degree Celsius. I realised my mistake as I continued speaking, hence, I tried explaining that I had no intentions to anger him. But that effort didn't seem to help. As common sense kicked in, I added ice to lower the temperature - apology. I decided to stop myself from speaking any further as my assignment editor was quite loud and I've already earned a few stares. That... was so not cool!

I got back to my desk to write the story but my mind was still cloudy.

Just the day before this incident occurred, I felt so good of myself that I was the first and only journalist who asked good questions (praised by the speaker himself) during a business story press conference. A general desk journalist that I was, to be asking good questions is quite an achievement, or at least I thought so. Plus, I'm merely an intern. =p

But then the following day... my situation was just bleak.

It's amazing how one day things are starting to blossom and the next day your hopes are crushed with a mortar stone mercilessly.

I kept thinking about what I've said and how it'll affect my internship assessment that I couldn't sleep right. You know that feeling when you said something really insulting that would hurt your best friend deeply and you wished you could take it back or never said it in the first place? Well, that was exactly how I felt.

Remorse filled me. It took control of me that I couldn't think of anything else until... this morning.

My teeth were locked and my adrenaline rushed as I walked to my assignment editor's desk early this morning.

I once again apologised and explained everything to him - how I was confused that stories which have a lot of information were deemed by editors not a story worth writing and stories which the interviewee only spoke two lines is deemed a story worth writing?

Well, my brain basically had this equation:

If a lot of information = no story

Then, extremely little info = (definitely) no story

That was precisely why I told him, "Abang X, macam tak dah story la. Tapi..." and I was cut off by his chiding.

However, I managed to talk things through with him and he forgave me. He then told me that he dislikes journalists who say such things and continued to advise me and taught me a lot of other stuff.

Later in the afternoon, he invited me to have KFC as he saw that I wasn't eating whereas the rest of my colleagues were already gobbling the chicken down their throats.

It was at that moment that I knew he really forgave me.

Apocalypse

2010-02-25T04:22:00.025Z

I feel awful. I feel terribly awful right now. It feels as if a surgeon is forcefully shoving his fist into my pried open stomach in the effort of digging my gut out while I'm not on anesthetic. I could feel every single rip of it from my alimentary canal. I can't even tell apart the feeling I'm experiencing now. I don't know whether it's pain or some other feelings because I don't exactly feel painful... but more of nauseous. It's ironic given the fact that I'm not on anesthetic, no? It's just too tough to describe it in words. Trust me, it feels far worse than what I'm describing and you wouldn't want to experience it.

I remembered my colleague once told me this...

"If you missed your assignment, you're dead! Wait for the death note (memo) to arrive.

Those words struck me. It's like the world's reaching apocalypse. Yes, it is that bad. Basically that's how it works in the television newsroom.

It has been a daily routine or should I say more of a habit for me to check my assignment every hour. Since it's been a habit that I picked up over time doing my internship in NTV7 News for almost two months now, I checked my assignment for today one last time before I left the office at 7.30pm yesterday. As stated in the i-News, my assignment was at 1600 hours and it was a launching campaign of 'Salam 1 Malaysia Plus at Petaling Jaya.

I was told that I'm allowed to come to office later than the usual 9.00am if my assignments are in the afternoon; and they have been so for the past few days, Hence, I came to office at 11-ish today like I've been doin so the past few days. I noticed that there were not many people in the office at that hour, hence, the liberty to choose my desk. I picked my usual desk and woke the computer up from sleep as soon as my butt landed on the chair. Right after the computer powered up, I logged on to i-News and in mere moments... my eyes were wide opened in shock and my face immediately turned white - it was as if I saw a ghost.

It read - 'Assignment: STPM Results; Location: Selayang; Event time: 1230; Call time: 1130'

It was then that I realised I was late for my assignment. I logged on and off the i-News several times hoping it was a mistake. But apparently, it turned out that my editor freaking changed my assignment! Oh, yes! It was dooms day for me. My hands were trembling and my knees were shaking; I had no idea what to do. After a few seconds, I stood up and made my way to Charles Mohan's (assignment editor) desk.

"Charles, when was my assignment changed?" I asked.

"I don't know la. You ask Zaman (executive editor) and see," he replied.

I knew things were going to turn out bad but I had to pick up my courage and march to my executive editor's desk whether I like it or not.

I clenched my fists, straightened my posture and took a deep breath.

Klak... klak.. klak...

I could hear the sound of my footsteps echoing vividly in my ears despite the loud chatters in the newsroom.

Within seconds, I was already standing in front of my executive editor.

I daren't look my executive editor straight in the eye but managed to open my mouth and asked, "Encik Zaman, when was my assignment changed?" in a shaky voice yet not to obvious to notice that I was scared to death.

"Where were you?! You were supposed to go for the morning assignment!" he scowled.

Shaken even more by his tone rather than his words, I replied, "My assignment's supposed to be in the afternoon at 4.00pm. I didn't know it was changed," while handing him the paper which has my 4.00pm assignment printed on.

He took the paper from me and looked at it skeptically.

After a long pause, I asked, "Amizam (cameraman) dah pergi ke?"

He replied, "Dah... dah pergi," while his eyes were still fixed on the paper.

His frown softened a little after a while and he finally said, Hmmm... tak apa lah. You were not informed."

I let a sigh of relief.

"Just get the story from Utusan and write it," he continued.

I nodded and said, "Ok. Ok. I will. Thank you."

Just before I turned to walk back to my desk, I looked my editor in the eye and said, "I'm really sorry," though my mind kept telling me that it wasn't my mistake. Somehow, I just felt guilty.

Though my executive editor said 'tak apa lah' (never mind), I walked back to my desk feeling uneasy.

I was thinking to myself that things are just not that simple...

Perhaps the words, 'If you missed your assignment, you're dead! Wait for the death note (memo) to arrive.' struck me hard... real hard that I kept thinking that my exceutive editor will not put this matter to rest so easily.

I really have no clue what would happen next. I'm not even sure whether I'll survive through today. But I am really glad that I printed my assignment if not I wouldn't have evidence to save my butt from the line. However much I'm trying to convince myself that everything's going to be OK, I know it's not going to happen. I guess all I can do is to prove myself later by writing the story well and hope for the best... hope that I don't fail my internship or I won't be able to graduate.

Painful For The Very First Time

2010-01-16T14:54:00.002Z

Slowly, I felt him loosening his grip and slipping away from my arms. With heavy heart I let go off my grip and watched him walked farther away from me each second. He turned back twice to wave goodbye as I watched him disappear from my sight.

Those were the last 60 seconds I had with him.

Its uncanny how painful I felt when I sent him off to the airport exactly 3 hours and 20 minutes ago. This is not the first time he flies back to Manchester. In fact, this is his 6th time. I never cried each time he flies back to Manchester. But why now? All the other times he flew back to Manchester, I was in Penang. But now I’m in Selangor and this is the first time I sent him off at the airport.

Clad in blue jeans and grey sweater, he stood in front of me looking deep into my eyes. But in mere moments, he left before my eyes... before my eyes could even answered his back.

When I got into the back seat of his father’s Camry, I was ready to get back to my rented room at Damansara Utama. My mind told me not to do what I was about to do, but I let emotions took control of me. I turned to look at the seat beside me... empty... quiet... soulless. Within seconds, my tears came pouring down my cheeks like a heavy rainfall. The seat which was occupied earlier by him was vacant. It felt even more uncanny when I was alone in the car with his parents. I’ve never gone on a ride with his parents alone. He was always around. He was always there. But now he’s gone. And I’m back to my rented room... alone, dejected and miserable.

For the past week since I started my internship, he was still here whenever I needed him. Living on my own without my family by my side, at least I still have him. But now, I have to face a brand new life and an unfamiliar environment on my own. For the past week, he was the reason I held up quite well. He came to pick me up after work and brought me back to his house to stay the night when I’m not working. He made me feel like home by bringing home to me. But now he’s gone for 6 months and took away my pillar of strength and comfort with him.

I cried not because I want him here to make my life easier.
I cried because I miss him so bad I didn’t want him to go.
I need him terribly and I love him so much my heart couldn’t contain.

After being together for almost 4 years, I finally realise we’re so comfortable with each, the word ‘shy’ does not exist in our dictionary. Friends say we behave like married couples, especially the way we talk to each other and the way we quarrel. I agree we’re not like the average teenage couples who are still in the lovey-dovey mode whereby the girl would get angry over petty stuff and the guy would be like a puppy begging for forgiveness. Maybe it’s because we have been together for a very long time that we’ve grown to be understanding with each other and cherish what we have.

I’ve never thought of the possibilities of this relationship coming to an end and would never dare think of it. We see it as a stable relationship that would last until we lose our last breath despite being told otherwise when we first started our journey - all because ours is a long distance relationship. Truth be told, all these made our relationship stronger and I hope it’ll make me stronger without his presence too.

Cure To The Heartache

2009-11-07T01:13:00.010Z

Last night, my favourite girl who happens to be my cousin told me this...

They don't matter
What are they to you?
A small tiny eeny-weeny piece of thing
Just squash them and walk away (I like this alot)
Think of them like ants!

Thanks, Jess Min, for the encouragement. You always happen to be around when I needed a shoulder to cry on. Don’t forget I’ll always be here whenever you need me too. I shall be your girlfriend and boyfriend if you’d like =D I’m glad I have you and Wei Jin.

Thanks for listening. I’ll always remember that bolded phrase. Loved it so much, it screams attitude. It made me imagine that I’m like this enormous giant who merely crush them with my big foot. LOL! At least, it did make me laugh. Thanks, again.

Love you and miss you much!

Nothing Will Ever Stay Constant

2009-11-06T09:46:00.002Z

One moment you could be best friends, the next moment you could be complete strangers
One moment you could talk till there’s no tomorrow, the next moment you could be tongue-tied
One moment you could be the member of the clique, the next moment you could be an outcast
One moment you could be invited to birthday parties, the next moment you could be be turned down
One moment you would feel appreciated, the next moment you would feel disparaged
One moment you are remembered, the next moment you are completely forgotten
One moment you are important, the next moment you are nothing but a piece of trash
One moment you understand the conversation, they next moment you are clueless about it
One moment you are told of everything, the next moment moment you are told of nothing
One moment you share secrets, the next moment you share mere lies.

This is exactly how I feel right now... and many other days too.
I just want it to end.
I can’t wait to get out of ‘here'

Addiction

2009-11-02T07:43:00.000Z

I’m officially addicted to one of Facebook’s games. It’s...

Cafe World

Don’t believe me? Try it yourself. Then you tell me. Heh!

Souvenirs After A Long Holiday

2009-10-30T13:02:00.004Z

Hello world!

The penman of this blog is back, or can I just call myself penwoman? Unfortunately, this word is not in the entry of the English Oxford Dictionary or any other dictionaries for that matter.

I’ve always wondered why ‘fireman’ is used instead of ‘firewoman, ‘policeman’ instead of ‘policewoman’, ‘chairman’ instead of ‘chairwoman’, businessman instead of ‘businesswoman’. I’ve always questioned why I thought that only human can be biased. I didn’t know that language could be biased and sexist too. Or does it only apply to English language? As much as I know, ‘fireman is called ahli bomba in Malay language, ‘policeman’ known as only ‘polis’, ‘chairman’ is called ‘pengerusi’ and businessman is known as usahawan. It’s strange that English language couldn’t be as non-discriminatory as Malay language. Heavy topic for a comeback? But i guess it gets your brain cells working, doesn’t it? Brain haemorrhaging much yet?

On a lighter note, I’ve just downloaded this Mac application, like say... 15 minutes ago. I’m currently trying it out and using it to write this blog post. Usually such applications only uploads blog entries through FTP server. But to get an FTP server account, you ought to pay Blogger.com 10USD for a year of subscription. Well, this application is similar to the former, except that it limits the ability of pimping my blog like how I did the last time with all those programming languages. That was the disadvantage, much like so many other things, there will always be the pros and cons. But the best part is that my blog entries can be uploaded without passing an FTP server; that means I don’t have to spend that 10USD. How cool is that?

And here comes the part whereby I tell you what software it is. For some of you it may be good news, for the others it may be bad news. So you ready?

The application is MacJournal. I presume you can already guess whether it’s a good news or bad news to you without the need of telling you the details.

So, Mac users, consider yourself lucky because I’m sharing this vital information with you. Now, bow down before me! You can try it out yourself and tell me how you like it. =D

Here’s the download link:
http://www.filefactory.com/file/ah47bd1/n/mahgtd_zip

Four your information, it’s not a freeware. But serials are provided to unlock the ‘chest of treasure’. Ngek! Ngek! Ngek!

Enjoy!

Aflame

2009-10-13T17:00:00.009+01:00

It's been almost three and a half years and our love is still burning strong for each other. I know words can never explain enough but I'm trying to make it worthwhile. We had never been able to celebrate our yearly anniversary together as we're 6786 miles away from each other. But I'm confident that we will someday. So for now, I guess we just have to depend on technology. I guess what I'm trying to say is very simple.

I love you..

I love you from the bottom of my heart

And till the end of time

I'm yours and always will be

Happy 41st Month Anniversary, my love!!!!

*This post is dedicated to none other than my boyfriend

Miracles Happen In Maya Saree Silk Centre

2009-10-12T16:28:00.007+01:00

I woke up early and left my house at 9:00 a.m. last Saturday. My sister and I headed to the paint shop at Batu Lancang to get some paint; for our house needed a revamp after the renovation. After spending quite some time choosing the right colours, we bought them and left for Little India, also known as Market Street.

Maya Saree Silk Centre was our first stop. My family has been purchasing Indian clothings there for generations and they have beautiful, exquisite sarees, Punjabi suits, lengga and everything else at affordable prices. The owner, whom I address as Uncle, simply knows our preferences. My sisters and I need not tell him the designs that we want; he simply lays out everything we like without the need to even ask. It's like he can read our minds. Maybe that's why we purchase Indian clothings there every year without fail even after visiting every other stores in Little India.

That sunny morning, I walked straight into his store and told him that I needed a ready made black saree blouse.

He asked, "Why do you need a ready made saree blouse for? Sew one. It's much prettier."

"I can't. I need it pronto. I need to wear it later," I replied.

"Like how urgent is it?" he asked, curious.

"I need to leave for Sunway Carnival in an hour and a half's time for the Miss Saree Queen pageant," I answered.

He immediately picked up his telephone and dialled for his tailor. His tailor appeared at the doorstep after two minutes. He took my measurements with ease and Uncle instructed him to sew a saree blouse in an hour's time. I was thrilled and overjoyed that I'll be wearing a saree blouse that fits me perfectly instead of wearing the ready made velvet saree blouse that would make me itch everywhere, especially around my collar bone and arm areas. Then again, I was worried sick that the saree blouse wouldn't complete sewing in time.

While waiting for it to be done, my sister and I went store to store to get pottu, bangles and costume jewellery that would complement the whole outlook. An hour had passed after we got all that. So, we raced back to Maya Saree Silk Centre to collect my saree blouse. While walking, I kept praying that it'll be done by then. When we were finally there, I walked up straight to Uncle and asked for the saree blouse.

"Is it done?" I panted.

He smiled while patting the plastic bag beside him.

I knew what it meant. I took it from him, ran up the stairs to the fitting room and tried it on. It fits... perfectly! My sister paid him and I thanked him and his tailor a million times.

"You're the best, Uncle!" I told him before leaving.

It's impressive. I'm in awe of Uncle's tailor; I still am. He did a fantastic job in such a short time.

Unbelievable!

Recollections

2009-08-25T02:52:00.005+01:00

It has been a week or so since I came home from KL. Like I mentioned, my blog was really on a hiatus for three weeks. It has been real long and I guess it's time to update it with my little adventure in KL.

Amongst the many things I did were:

1. Snuggled on the couch with my boyfriend and watched movies almost every night

2. Played House of the Dead with my boyfriend till my fingers hurt

3. Went to a mamak shop near my boyfriend's house and had roti tissue for supper; double the size/height of the one in Pelita Nasi Kandar

4. Slept in my boyfriend's room for several nights while he sleeps in the guest room because his bed is super comfortable.

5. Went for a 1-day excursion in Malacca with his family

6. Went for a 1-day excursion in Genting Highlands

7. Won in a round of Jenga game

8. Lost badly to my boyfriend in a Monopoly game

9. Won (more or less) in a game of Scrabble

10. For the first time after so many visits to my boyfriend's house, I accidentally broke his mum's wooden decorative item which she bought from Europe. Though it could be glued back and she said it was OK, I'm still struck with a pang of guilt.

I know you read my blog Auntie, I know I've said this before but I'm really truly sorry for what I've done. I wish there's something I can do to repay you. I guess the least I could do is to be more careful next time and not to stretch my arms, perhaps?

Somnolent Yet Intoxicated. What A Combo!

2009-08-04T20:55:00.005+01:00

Final exams are over.

My holidays just started few days ago.

We (my family) celebrated my sister's 23rd birthday at Dragon-i last night.

And I'll be on my way to KL in less than 12 hours.

It's already 3:58a.m. now. I know I'm supposed to be in bed. But apparently, my lecturer didn't receive my essay. So here I am, sticking my eyeballs out to attach the file, which of course, take ages to upload; all thanks to our so-called broadband Internet connection.

Wait. Let me check on the progress...

...

......

.........

Ah! Finally, it's attached. I've just sent it. Hopefully he gets my email this time.

I'm so excited! I can't wait till 2:30p.m., where I'll set foot on the land of shopping haven, skyscrapers, busy streets, and massive jams. I can't wait to see my boyfriend and stay in his 'resort home' again for more than a week. Oh, how I wish I could fast-forward time...

Darn, my peepers are getting red and watery. I better hit the sack now.

Gosh! How am I going to be able to wake up at eight in the morning?!?!

P.S: My blog might be on a hiatus again.

Foreign Language

2009-08-03T13:31:00.005+01:00

I officially despise HTML and CSS as they are so darn intricate.
Even so, I enjoy learning them.
The results are just gratifying!
Whee!!!!

Just look at my blog layout (yet to be completed) now...
Doesn't it look amazing?!
~~*coughs* syok sendiri *coughs*~~

But there were the usual groaning, slamming of mouse, pulling of hair, and nail-biting in the process of pimping my blog. Those who are literate in programming language, thumbs up to you.

Whatever it is, I'm liking the new look now. It's 1765103176582317307401539 times better than the same, old, boring, classic template; at least that's what I think.

Do try it guys. It's so much fun...

and...

...TORTURE!

Paparazzi (There Goes My Dignity)

2009-07-26T11:48:00.004+01:00

As tagged by Madeline...

Rules:

1. Please entitle your post 'Paparazzi' or something of the like.

2. Follow the 'Pictures of...' as closely as possible. Be creative. No photoshop-ing. If you cannot find a picture for one of the descriptions, scratch it off and replace it with something else. You can add additional photos if you wish with suitable descriptions.

3. Tag whoever you want to see look funny.

Picture of me looking down...

Picture of me with my mouth opened...

Picture of me with my mouth closed...

Picture of me looking shocked...

For the record, I don't usually look like a lunatic!

Picture of me hugging someone...

Not just anybody. He's my boyfriend.

Picture of me acting rocker-ish...

Picture of me looking like a princess...

Thanks baby for this lovely photo.

Picture of me looking like an ape...

Picture of me looking mischievous...

I pinched and I simpered. Hehe!

Picture of me trying to be a supermodel...

That was my eldest sister's size 8 pumps!
It's amazing I could sashay with it.

Picture of me looking like a politician...

This was something my father used to do

I tag:

Wei Jin

Kenneth

Jess Min

Kar Mun

Jolene

Sher Lyn

Kia

Aik Meng

Aniq

Shu Pei

Ernest

Marisa

Razeen

Reuben

Dot. Dot. Dot.

2009-07-25T08:32:00.006+01:00

Facts of the day:

1. I still haven't decided what to wear

2. I love the whole pimping-my-blog thing

3. I barely studied for my exam this Wednesday

4. I can't wait for tonight

5. I'm bored and lazy

6. I've got more to update

Send Me An Angel, Or Better Yet, Fashion Consultant!

2009-07-24T20:21:00.005+01:00

I spent more than 3 hours picking out the perfect outfit for Jolene's farewell dinner party tomorrow... more like tonight, considering that it has already past midnight. Still, I'm undecided. I ransacked my whole closet and had a mini fashion show in my room, and now, my room looks like a pig sty. Great! More cleaning up to do...

It's already half past three and I still couldn't make up my mind. Sheesh!

Tonight's dinner party is gonna be all girly girly as there will be 10 very beautiful ladies attending, including the host and myself, and it's some sort like a girls' night out. So, Jo asked us to really dress up. She wants us to look gorgeous - prettier than usual, as this will be her last girls' night out she's gonna have with us; she'll be leaving for the States very soon. We're all gonna miss this fashionista who happens to be a good friend of mine. =p

I'm still hesitant on which outfit to wear tonight. Right now, I have four in my mind. Hopefully, tomorrow morning I would have two and by tonight, I would have the chosen one.

Note: The following photos were taken in my messy bedroom. Ignore the clutter. I just ransacked my closet, remember?

Outfit No. 1:

"It's a little too casual for the party," according to Kar Mun.

Outfit No. 2:

Too sexy/provocative, yet casual

Outfit No. 3:

Sweet, but a little too bling bling and the inner dress it's a little too short to be able to cover my butt. Panty hose, perhaps?

Outfit No. 4:

Simple. Elegant. A little sexy. I'm just afraid that it might be a little too dressy for the party.

I'm in dire need of opinion. So, help me out! Pick the perfect outfit for me, please... Well, that's if anyone happens to read this post by tonight.

I'm gonna hit the sack now and hope that I see encouraging comments when I wake up. Goodnight!

Of Hiking, Breakfast, Bowling and Abundance of Laughter

2009-07-22T05:17:00.009+01:00

17.05.09

It was 6:30am. My faithful alarm clock rang stridently. Yet, I still managed to put it on snooze, but it didn't last more than three times. It was already 6:45am by the third snooze. I knew I was late but I just couldn't drag myself up. My eyelids felt heavy - they felt as though they were clamped together by a pair of callipers. My body suddenly weigh a ton. Apathy of hiking at Youth Park with my college mates was visibly present. All of a sudden, it felt more like a chore than a fun physical activity.

I only had three hours of sleep the previous night because of the after-party I had with several band members. Sleep deprivation led to my not being able to drag myself out of the bed and into the shower and the indifference towards the healthy morning exercise.

After battling with myself for quite a bit, I opened my eyes forcefully and sprang myself out of the bed and into the hot shower. I had a quick one, brushed my teeth, packed my duffel bag and drove to Kia's house to car-pool with him.

We arrived at the park late - 7:50am, than the planned 7:30am. I take the blame for that. To make things worse, we spent another 10 minutes looking for the rest.

We walked around the park a little before we proceeded with hiking. The steps were steep and the paths were covered with moss which make them even more slippery than they already are.

Sher Lyn, trying to be camera shy

I got tired after only 10 minutes. I must say my stamina dropped drastically ever since I stopped playing basketball. Even so, that did not deter me from taking photos and videos of our journey with my faithful Canon Ixus 70.

Melody, Aik Meng & Sin Wah
were worn out and left behind

I know they were exhausted.
But were they headed to the right direction???
notice the direction of the arrow

Throughout our journey, we could hear different types of songs of different languages being played. They were of chinese oldies, Dangdut and even Bollywood on heavy rotation early in the morning. We believed the music came from the market near the park. Wow! All those aunties and uncles are really hip and happening.

After hiking for quite some time, we finally reached the top of the hill. We could see the entire city from there, well... almost.

We, girls rocked the hill! Why is my hand cut halved?
Lousy Kia! Don't know how to take photos.

We thought of staying there for a while but the sun was too bright, it was practically blinding. On top of that, the heat was piercing through our skin. So, we left to find some place shady and to take a short rest before we hike back down.

Running away from the scorching sun

We found a place to sit and let our bodies to rest. On the contrary, our mouths did not. They just never got tired. I guess they are developed to work 24/7. Needless to say, we were starving to death. On top of that, we were talking about food. Like that's gonna help.

The food talk really did not help our empty, growling stomachs at all. We quickly got back on our feet and continued our journey. On our way down, we could hear the music played even louder than before. And just as we were asking Kia to do a Bollywood dance move, a Hindi song started playing. What a coincident...

Urging Kia to do a Bollywood dance move

P.S: Ignore my awful voice.

It was due to a couple of drinks the night before

After much coaxing, he eventually did the infamous Bollywood dance move - dancing around the trees.

Kia performing the legendary, one and only

Bollywood dance move - dancing around trees

We ended our hiking expedition with big smiles on our faces, aching muscles and cramped stomachs due to excessive laughing. But that's not all. We went for our late breakfast, remember?

Tired yet excited bunch of people

OMG! We fainted right after taking this photo
because Kia's underarms sank like salted fish!

We drove in two cars to Bali Hai in Gurney Drive for breakfast. Su Min and Wei Qi joined us as well. Man, we were so hungry, we ate like cows.

Look at the amount of food we ordered.
And that's just half of it!

As usual, Kia was acting gay even when we were trying to have a decent breakfast. Oh, and he was not alone. He was accompanied by his compadre, Yap Aik Meng. I don't accuse. I have photos to prove them.

Just look at his horny face

OMG! This is even worse than the former

Even Sher Lyn couldn't stand his gayness

Kia's gayness caused her to puke

Look at the two gays at the far left.
They totally ruined the group photo.
Look closely, even the uncle at the back couldn't stand them;
he had to cover his mouth with his hand
Note: Click pjoto to enlarge

But of course, we do have some decent photos of him taken, as well as our group photo.

Now, he looked so innocent in this photo.
Don't you know? Looks are deceiving.

Melody & Sher Lyn

The girls reigned!

Not too long after that, the guys proposed bowling. The girls weren't too keen about it as they didn't want to bowl in their clothes reeked of sweat, except me. I joined the two gays at Penang Bowl while the rest scattered home.

That was undoubtedly a touchdown,
or whatever you call it

Eh, masuk longkang! HAHA!

Now, that is what I call a srike!
Eh, why did you take a photo of my butt so obvious, Kia?

We played two games. As usual, my thumb began to hurt after the first game. The hole was just too small. The balls are for adults, you fools, not kids. Make them bigger! Pffttt! Nonetheless, I defeated Kia and emerged as the 1st runner-up whereas Aik Meng emerged Winner!

Suck on that, babeh!

P.S: No hard feelings, guys. This is purposefully for the mere fun. We know that you're our boypren, Kia.

Totally Uncalled For!

2009-07-22T03:01:00.002+01:00

I slept at 4:00am last night and darn, I was just woken up by a phone call which was not even mine!

@$%$&+%*&!?{&^%*$%#%**&)&#@=/?#$^%

How great is that? Not! I tried to fall back asleep but I just couldn't for reasons I myself do not know.

Here I am vociferating about the gratuitous call. I guess that's all I can do since I couldn't get myself to sleep. Pffttt!

On a lighter note, the upcoming posts will be about the events that occurred for the last two months. I know it's redundant and a little too late for it. In spite of that, many interesting happened, and if I don't share with the world, I'm afraid I'm gonna regret it.

I assure you they'll be worth reading and watching. Some of them are gonna be rib-tickling and you wish you could have seen them live. Just wait till you read them!

You have been warned... =p

Window of Opportunity

2009-06-08T13:36:00.011+01:00

16.05.09

A long overdue post...

Her: Are you interested to be the emcee for PESSBand in Concert this year?

Me: When is it?

Her: May 16, Saturday.

Me: OK, I guess. Will I be paid? I don't want my expertise to be used for free.

Her: Maybe. You gotta ask the conductor.

Me: OK. I'll decide after I talk to him.

I've covered corporate and sport events, competitions, fashion shows, graduations, and award ceremonies. But never had I laid my hands on concerts before. It's certainly something huge and challenging. I was being a tad bit hesitant on accepting the offer for it was the biggest event I've ever covered by far. But I accepted it anyway after thinking long and hard. I figured it would open many doors to my career as it was a state event; nothing like the ordinary that I've done before.

I met up with the conductor of the band, Ng Huck Aik, two weeks before the concert and was given a rundown and thoroughly briefed on the whole flow of the night.

Rehearsal after rehearsal were done. They took up to five exhausting hours sometimes. And darn, they were draining every last bit of my energy from my body. But they were great listening to, so the rehearsals weren't half that bad.

The clock was ticking. The tension built up. The silent nervous clamours could be heard. The days drawing closer. And the day finally arrived.

The clock struck eight in the evening. The band members straightened their posture and were nervous-stricken in their seats, anxiously waiting for it to begin. At that moment, I, clad in a black halter dress paired with a glittery stilettos emerged from backstage and received head-turns from the boys in black suits on stage. I saw smiles... that showed I lightened up the atmosphere for them. Nervous jitters were still there but not as great as before. Their smiles helped me as well - they gave me courage to stand before the crowd of 5000 people and speak.

With the boys between the ages of 14 and 17
clad in black suits and white ties

The theatre hall of Dewan Sri Pinang was brightly lit, making my heart skipped even faster. I could see everyone present and I noticed that their eyes were fixed on me; that pressured me even more. My eyes kept wandering from time to time as I spoke. That way, it looked as if I was giving eye contact to the audience and I seemed less nervous.

A few moments after that, the hall went dark and the band began playing enthusiastically. It went on till the end. But of course, there were certain moments where I got back up on stage to speak to the audience. I got used to it after a few times and actually enjoyed what I was doing. I even danced a little backstage when the band played whilst waiting for my turn.

The crowd couldn't get more of the band, they were practically going crazy over it. Madness filled the air. Some even got on their feet and danced to Mamma Mia. The band received thunderous claps and roaring cheers after performing their final song. Not to forget, a standing ovation as well.

That was how good the band was...

When the crowd settled down, I received praises for being such an amazing emcee from my peers. The band and singers did so the same.

"Thank you so much. You're the best emcee we ever had," exclaimed PESSBand conductor, Ng Huck Aik.

"You were fantastic! You did a great job. You're the best emcee I've ever met in my entire music career. I've never met someone like you even when I was in States (USA)," praised clarinet soloist, Eugene Pook.

Eugene Pook, happy with the success of the concert

Unequivocally, I was delighted to hear that and overwhelmed with joy and beamed with pleasure. You can't blame me for being ecstatic, I was thought of highly. Right after that, I went down the stage to chat with my college mates who attended the concert. In the midst of chatting with my peers, I noticed there were some people staring at me, anxiously waiting for me to finish my conversation.

Out of curiosity and exasperation, I asked "Hi, can I help you?"

"Yes. Hi, can I take a photo with you?" replied one of them.

I was thinking - why not? After the approval, they came rushing towards me - people whom I don't know, people whom I've never met before. Most of them were high school kids. One after another came, and before I knew it, there were a pack of them rushing towards me like they were hunting down their prey. Those kids were practically fighting with one another to see who gets to take photo with me first and who gets to stand beside me. Apparently, they were my fans, my little fans. Yet, I don't exactly know what I did that they adored and admired me so much.

"Oh, my god. You're awesome! I admire you so much!"

"You're so pretty."

"You were great just now. I love you."

I guess I've figured out why they were so drawn to me after all. Weird, I've never ever got such attention before and it felt awkward. What more about having fans? That was a start and definitely beyond my belief and utter imagination.

Now that I've known, they've certainly made my day. Nevertheless, that did not make me any cocky or arrogant. Instead, it taught me to have humility. I am no celebrity, and even if I turn to become one one day, humility is the most vital trait I must own, for sassiness will get me nowhere far.

The friendliest of the band members

My college mates who came to watch the concert

My little fans all the way from Bukit Mertajam, Kedah and Perak

Of Indolence and Hesitation

2009-06-06T14:14:00.007+01:00

30 minutes earlier...

OK. There have been too many interesting stories to blog on these days. I better get started before it piles up. I shall blog after my shower.

20 minutes later...

OK. Where should I begin? Ah.. about the PESSBand concert..

Logged in to blogger...

OK. I'll blog some other day. I'm feeling lazy and One Tree Hill's last episode is waiting for me. It's way too hard to resist.

In the end (now)...

Okey-dokey! This will have to stop right here. My blog can wait. My One Tree Hill CANNOT! So it's goodbye blog and hello One Tree Hill!

No Full Stop

2009-06-02T14:16:00.005+01:00

I know it's been ages since I last updated, well... kinda. I also have been uncommonly busy the last month. Anyhow, I'll update all the happenings, pronto! In the mean time, I'll just list out the things that had kept my fingers off the keyboard and my mind from reining my thoughts to be processed into words.

Here it goes...

1. Penang State Symphonic Band (PESSBand) in Concert 2009 rehearsal (May 15)

2. Photojournalism off-campus assignment (May 16)

3. Emceed for PESSBand in Concert 2009 (May 16)

4. Hiked at Youth Park with college friends (May 17)

5. Dinner at Harvest Inn followed by coffee in Coffee Island with Madeline, Erica and Jolene, who came to Penang for a visit. (May 18)

6. Dinner at Blue Reef followed by Bagan and 'Ladies Night' with Madeline, Erica, Jolene and Michelle (May 20)

7. Finished up Basic TV Production 90-second short film storyboard (May 21)

8. Watched Angels and Demons with Sher Lyn, Aniq and Aik Meng (May 22)

9. Barbecue party at Paradise Beach to surprise Kia and Wei Qi with an advanced birthday celebration (May 22)

10. Auditioned for Michito Beauty's 'Teenager's Beauty Contest' 1st audition (May 24)

11. Went shopping with Sher Lyn in Gurney to get Kia's birthday present followed by dinner at Sushi King (May 24)

12. Went to college to take photos needed for my video filming (May 25)

13. Threw a surprised birthday celebration for Kia at his house with Sher Lyn and had Chillis for dinner (May 25)

14. Went to various places for my video filming (May 26, 27 & 28)

15. Lunch with Kia and Sher Lyn at Tao and watched Night at the Museum 2 (May 27)

16. Celebrated my boyfriend's birthday through the phone because he's 6786 miles away in Manchester, UK (May 28)

16. Watched Terminator: Salvation with Kia, Sher Lyn, Yi-Wen and Yik Sean (May 29)

17. Editing video to be submitted on June 1st (May 30 & 31)

I think that's enough for now. I presume it's enough to keep your jaw dropped for a little while. Now, looking back at the list, it kind of scared me off my pants. But that was last month - worst month ever this year - fully booked and exceedingly hectic. I'm sure it's going to get a lot more 'exciting' in the months to come. Unequivocally!

A Night of Elegance

2009-05-17T16:35:00.012+01:00

14.05.09

Talent Night Competition:

modelling

singing

dancing

I'm neither in anyone of them. But I have talent too - emceeing!

That was what I did that night. XD

Flanked by 4 beautiful ladies

Oh-so-kissable!!!

Clothing sponsored by Bead Zone

Evening dress sponsored by France Taipei

And this is what I do best

Melody & I

Yee Yean & I

With sweet pie, Shu Pei

How high of a heel was she wearing?

With the winner of modeling category, Su Ann

Where did Isaac plan to put his hands, eh?

Pretty Maple

With the ladies' man, Victor

The two charmers

Cute expression = priceless

As usual, perverted Jeremy

Ah Seang & I

Pinky & I

(insert caption, if you please)

It was hell of a night - jaded, tired, zonked, worn out, exhausted and any other adjectives related to tiredness that you could think of. I slept like a log when I got home. It was totally obvious that I was extremely tired. It showed in the pictures. Nevertheless, I had fun.

The Greatest Love of All

2009-05-17T14:49:00.009+01:00

This was how we celebrated Mother's Day...

Flowers from Indonesia

Penang's famous porridge

Crispy vege

Tasty bitter-gourd & brinjal

Mummy savouring her food

How alike... yet they say they aren't

I bought tiramisu for Mummy!

Ooo... nice!

Happy family

Granny was definitely impatient

Mummy & Granny

Mothers

Awfully blissful

God knows for what reason, my sister was at the verge of laughing

Stuffed with more cake

Eat more Mummy! You lost a lot of weight

Happy Mother's Day!!!

I love you...

On My Behalf

2009-05-17T12:33:00.006+01:00

My niece came for a visit in Penang last month. As usual, she brought along her homework. There was this English scrapbook that she had to do and it involved a boatload of drawing. My cousin asked me to help her daughter and I couldn't refuse because she was telling me how much I tortured her when I was younger - begged her to take me to the playground at 3 in the morning, asked her tonnes of difficult questions like her daughter and etc.

My niece showed me her puppy face and kissed me all over my face. How could I not help, right? So, while I was busy drawing tables, bookracks, cupboards and etc for my niece's English homework, she was comfortably sitting cross-legged on the couch scribbling God knows what on a piece of paper

She whispered, "this is for you," sheepishly into my ear when she was done with it.

Take a look at what she was busy with...

Note: She is the same niece whom I mentioned in my previous post - the 6-year-old smarty pants

Just notice her writing skills - exceptionally good command of English and the use of punctuation; only at the age of SIX! I doubt I could even write like that when I was her age.

Highlights:

...my father's brother's daughter's child. - Like WHOA!

alot/so much - Who taught her how to use slash???

And the best part is - she was writing on behalf of ME!

~ Kids nowadays are getting smarter and smarter ~

Result of Knowing Too Much

2009-04-20T14:04:00.005+01:00

An animated and intelligent conversation between my 6 year-old smarty pants niece and I on the day of the dark parade.

Me: Kareshmaa, did you know that I wore this Punjabi suit on your mum's wedding.

Kareshmaa: Really, ah?

Me: Yup! That time you were not even born yet.

Kareshmaa: How old were you ah, that time?

Me: I was only twelve.

Kareshmaa: Now?

Me: Nineteen.

Kareshmaa: *questions in an unbelievable tone* And you can still wear it now?!

Me: Yes, in fact I think I lost a little weight 'cause it's slightly looser now compared to before.

Kareshmaa: *scrutinising my body* WOW! You maintain your figure ah, sithi (aunt)!!!

Me: *nods head and laugh*

Kareshmaa: It's unbelievable! I want to be just like you... I want to maintain my figure also! You know... my thighs are soooo big now, like elephant's leg!

Me: *faint* If yours are like elephant's, then what are mine???

Kareshmaa: *smiles and giggles*

I was blown off my from my seat when I heard her used such grandiloquent words for her age. I was even dumbfounded when she said that she was FAT! Can you imagine a 6-year-old saying such things straight to your face with her innocent eyes?!?!! God, save these kids who have constantly been poisoned by the media and the society to think that having curves is a death penalty.

Kids these days become narcissist at too young of an age. Tsk.. Tsk...

Enough Is Enough

2009-04-15T18:22:00.012+01:00

I'm aware that I promised to upload photos from my Redang trip but I haven't done so. It's not because I couldn't find the time to do so; it's just that I didn't feel like it. Anyhow, I'll upload them when I'm in the mood for it.

Likewise, don't ask me why I'm not blogging much nowadays.

DON'T.

Just STOP!

I've had enough! You really wanna know so much why I haven't been blogging?

It's because something tragic happened. No, I did not drown in the sea. I came home safely in a piece. Instead, someone extremely important to me has drowned into the soil. It's been two weeks since the incident and I haven't been blogging ever since. What's worse is that it happened the day before my birthday and I had the worst birthday gift in my entire life delivered from KL to my doorstep on my birthday (April 3rd) half past midnight.

Crushed. Shocked. Angry. Afraid. Confused. Heartbroken. Mournful. Tormented. Disappointed. Those were the emotions that poured out all at the same time when I heard the news.

I was not there to witness it. We, (my family) were not there to witness it. Perhaps, it was better that we didn't - it would feel like pressing a knife into a wound and have it scarred even badly. But still, we didn't even get to say our last goodbye. He shocked us by leaving us so abruptly, so unexpectedly. He was gone for good.

Losing a father at the age of nineteen isn't easy; what more on my birthday. I told him to come home soon when he left for KL. But having him come home laying in a coffin wasn't how I pictured him to come home. Whatever the reasons may be, it's just not in my will to change that fact. It was too shocking to believe he's dead. My brain just couldn't register that tiny little detail. Somehow, I still think that he's still on a vacation in KL and hasn't yet returned home.

I know I must come to my senses one fine day and finally let go off my father. But not now, not today. I still can't do it yet.

I'm easily exhausted nowadays and lose focus on almost everything. I'm already emotionally drained thinking about my father and worrying about my mother while making a tribute video to my dearly departed father.

With so much things going on, I have been on a writer's block for a fortnight. I wanted to blog, but was always staring blank into the screen. My mind was empty - hollow. How am I supposed to update my blog when I had nothing to write? How am I supposed to update my blog when all I could think of was my father, and I didn't want to share the bad news to the whole world because then, it would mean that my father is really not coming back? The thought of it already sends chills to my body.

I want him back. I really do. In fact, my whole family wants him back. Even his friends and people whom my father had made an impact in their lives want him back. He was like Amitabh Bachchan in the neighbourhood - not a single person who does not know him. He was like Mother Teresa - his kindness and generosity always laid on the table. Above all, he was the world's greatest father no famous figure could replace, though he may be stubborn and a tad bit annoying. But it was all these tiny little flaws that made him, him - my one of a kind father. Having said that, I still would give anything to have that back, to have him back.

From a person who hardly expresses her feelings verbally but more in actions due to traditional family background:

I love my father as much as my heart could contain it and I will always love him. Always.

Since now that you've known, please, I beg of you, stop asking me why I don't blog much. Please don't add to my emotionally drained state. I'm trying very hard to heal my heart here. Allow me to do so. Thank you for understanding.

Mr. Pavapathi A/L Mayan @ Sabapathi

He was a man with grace;

A man with style;

And most importantly, a man with heart;

Whose love went all the way.

Kitchen and Outdoors

2009-03-28T09:34:00.008Z

It's 5:15 p.m. I'm leaving at 8:00p.m.

I have less than three hours to prepare but that didn't worry me. What worries me is that my mum has reportedly told my aunt that my pancakes taste delicious. Hence, my aunt wished to try them someday. But what I didn't know was someday was today - I was kindly requested by my aunt to make pancakes for tea cum dinner for my family. Now, that takes a long time to make enough pancakes to feed eight hungry stomachs, including me. Did I mention that my family eats like cows? Oh yes, they have four stomachs each and I am no exception. So how many pieces of pancakes can one eat and how much bater do I have to mix? You do the math!

Having said that, how much time will I take to cook breakfast for tea cum dinner? And how much time will that leave me to prepare for my departure? Very little time. So, I think I better get my arse to the kitchen before I waste any more time.

But hold on....

Prepare for what? Where am I leaving to?

I've got to pack my bags and get on the bus to another island. I'll be vacationing in Redang Island with my mum and her friends - more of like an excursion of three days, two nights with a tour group. We'll begin our journey tonight and set foot on the beautiful island early in the morning. This will give us the whole day to enjoy ourselves in the island rather than half a day wasted on the bus if we start our journey tomorrow morning. Now that is what I call making use of time wisely.

With this, my blog will be on a hiatus for a few days till I get home with dozens of photos in my faithful Canon Digital IXUS 70. Spot the girl whose skin has a tint of glowing tan in the upcoming photos in four days time!

Redang, here I come!

Allow me to explore your crystal clear waters and captivate my eyes with your colourful fish and breathtaking corals...

Photo credits to Lukman Kusuma

P.S: Pray that I still know how to breathe after seeing those breathtaking corals for I do not want to drown, though I don't mind dying in such a placid environment. =P

Filled with Fun and Laughter

2009-03-28T09:11:00.010Z

Tennis session with Aniq finally took place last Tuesday after much too long. We had talked about it much and planned it few months back. Apparently, things did not go as we planned because there were always something that came up and ruined our plan. But we didn't let anything intervened this time.

I held my tennis racquet again after five years since I last held it and played the beautiful sport. As expected of myself, I was awful. I played terribly and the ball went everywhere; I can't even serve, no more. My back-hand balls were horrendous, needless to say. I was once quite a good tennis player, but to my dismay, I played like an actual beginner that evening. I felt horrible and sorry towards Aniq because he was always picking up the balls instead of playing a real game. *sigh*

The rain poured after an hour. We picked up our duffel bags, chucked our sports equipments in, got in the car and drove around hunting for food - pondered and hesitated on what we should have for dinner. After almost thirty minutes of driving around rather aimlessly, we made a stop at Kedai 3 Menu, literally speaking.

Kedai 3 Menu, located near Sunshine Square, was quite a big restaurant but had only three menus to offer to its customers. This is absolutely absurd and outrageous. Waiting to take a peek at the menu would take longer than waiting for the food to be served at the table. There were easily more than twenty tables available with just three pathetic menus. We were startled and wondered how on earth could the restaurant have survived for years. Unbelievable!

Nevertheless, we ordered our food and chattered while waiting. We did not leave immediately after our dinner. We opted to stay a little longer as we were inclined to catch up with each other. We talked over our drinks after dinner for almost two hours and laughed over certain matters till our stomach ached a little too much for us to bear, especially me, since I laughed too much, according to Aniq.

We were too absorbed in our conversation till we lost track of time. Some abrupt incident occurred, thus, reminded us so. The lights went off unexpectedly and I was stricken with fear in my seat. It wasn't the fear of darkness since I sleep in total darkness every night. It was purely the fear of losing my personal belongings. Quickly, I grabbed my handphone and wallet laying on the table and tightened my grip. Aniq suggested that we leave. I agreed much too fast before he could even his sentence. We paid the bills and left; though Aniq said we could just cabut without them realising.

Finding our way back to the car was a challenge due to the darkness. Thankfully, my K700i served me well. Its back light was as bright as a torch light, thus making us walk to the car without tripping over something. Despite that, we still felt partially visually impaired for a moment there.

Anyhow, we reached home safely. If it wasn't for the blackout, I think we would have stayed longer and allow our minds to drift further into the conversation. In addition to that, I would have certainly gone home later than I was supposed to. Perhaps, it was good that the blackout occurred. Or not, I would have to face the unmelodious music ever when I get home. Hehe...

Tennis session: Succeeded

Not having to face the music: Succeeded

To sum it all up, it was a satisfying excursion.

What more can I ask?

Too Much In Two Days

2009-03-27T17:18:00.010Z

Today is 28th March.

My college Open Day was on 14th and 15th March. I wanted to write about it on the last day of Open Day itself but I ended up sleeping through the entire evening right up till the sun shone. I was exhausted to my bones. And hence, the sleeping like any wasted person would sleep. Obviously, my plan failed and I talked myself into procrastinating the matter until today.

Reasons why I'm not blogging much lately:

1. Busy

2. Lazy

3. Lack inspiration

4. Having a writer's block

5. Prefer to read than write

Having said that, I still managed to sit myself in front of my laptop and stared at the screen for 5 minutes before writing this sentence. WHOA!!! This is serious! I have never had such a hard time writing except during exams when my brain temporarily shut down and all I could see was darkness. This is reeeaaally bad!!!

Note: I may not have any idea to what I'm about to write in the following paragraphs. So, please bear with me despite knowing that it might be the worst post I've ever written. If you cant, you can always click on the 'next blog' link and stumble upon some really awesome reads.

As I mentioned earlier, Open Day has drained my energy. I had to juggle 3 things on both days - managed my team, sold drinks an deejayed. But nevertheless, I enjoyed myself. The funny thing is: I brought my digital camera but did not use it at all because I was just to busy to even go around taking pictures. So, no snapshots to show how rocking the event was. Boo hoo!

Luckily, Debra, my supporter and avid listener was smart enough. Since I can't really move from my 3 main spots, she suggested that all of us should take pictures using Photo Booth while I was deejaying with Wilson. Killing 3 birds (deejaying, talking and taking pictures) with 1 stone, eh? Who knew I was able to do that since I was pretty tensed in the beginning - afraid of saying the wrong things, playing the wrong songs and messing with the mixer - practically screwing up everything.

But hey, I did it. I was intact and in a piece at the end of the day and everything went smoothly. And the pictures were... RAWKIIINNNNGGGG!!!!!! (at least I thought so. =p)

N-W-D-B

We all looked distorted but Debbie looked extremely adorable
and I had exceptionally big ears which looked weirdly cute.

Nutty Wacko, Drama Queen & Vehement

Fun-tastic 4!!!

Crushed into a ball

2 grins & 2 smiles

'Cannibals' in theaters soon

Fly FM Cash Call

2009-03-04T13:52:00.006Z

I presume the title speaks for itself.

Easy money - answer the call, say the magic words and the cash comes pouring down from the sky - literally speaking. It's some sort of like 'Get Rich Fast' scheme or better known as 'Skim Cepat Kaya' for us Malaysians.

Having said that, I took the chance and sent in three text messages that read, 'CASH' to 33399 during the Cash Call Hour. Since I didn't win some buckaroos last year, I thought maybe I should push my luck this year.

I arrived early in college yesterday. Parked my car at my usual parking spot and decided to just chill in my car for 10 minutes before I had to attend Miss Tan's Radio News Production class. I had Continental Bakery's cinnamon roll for breakfast while avidly listening to my favourite programme of my favourite radio station - Fly FM's Pagi Show.

I was almost done with my cinnamon roll and thought of heading early to class anyway. But, the Cash Call Hour restrained me from turning off the engine and stepping out of my car. Thus, I immediately punched the keys on my keypad and hit 'SEND'. While the song was playing on the radio, I continued munching on my cinnamon roll and waited anxiously for the anticipated call. After a minute, my phone rang. I quickly answered by saying, 'Fly FM. Malaysia's Hottest Music!' It was a long silent after that. I waited for a minute before I said it again. There was nothing on the other end still. After awhile, the other end hung up on me.

My adrenaline rushed for nothing. I really thought that it was 'the' call from Fly FM. I was hoping to hear that Phat Fabes, Ben and Nadia would tell me that I just won RM500. But I didn't know whether it was 'the' call or not. If it was, then I would be thrilled. But, crushed because they couldn't hear me. If it wasn't, then I wouldn't be very disappointed for getting all excited and turned down after that.

After I was hit by disappointment and adrenaline meltdown, I got my bag and was ready to go to class with a sulky face; when suddenly, my phone rang again. I answered it the same way as I did with the previous call. The lady on the end end replied with a 'Hi, Vanitha' instead of 'Congratulations! You've just won RM500!' Disappointed, yet I managed to reply with a hi. She then introduced herself as Amrita, Fly FM's Pagi Show producer and she started questioning me on why was I so quiet in the previous call. Of course, I explained the whole situation to her. Then, I asked her whether or not I win the RM500 and she asked me to listen to myself on the radio.

I cranked up the volume and all I heard was I answered the phone with the tagline and the DJ's were celebrating my victory but I gave no reaction, not even the slightest bit. The three of them asked whether I was alright but I didn't answer. I sounded like a dork; a complete idiot except that I didn't make any sound. Fabes actually said this before the call ended, "I think she just collapsed." Right... as if I did. The line was bad - I just couldn't hear them. Who in the right mind would just keep one's mouth shut or collapse after knowing that one has just won a huge amount of money for one's age? Only fools or people who suffer from heart attack would do such a thing. I am anything but those two.

After I heard myself on the radio, Amrita told me that I still won the RM500!!! This time I really did hurt her eardrums with my early morning high-pitched squeaky scream. I gave her my personal particulars and went to class 2 minutes late but with a bright and beaming smile across my cheeks. Even my eyes twinkled. It was all like a dream. My head was spinning, my wobbliness caused me to walk unsteadily to my class and I just couldn't concentrate fully during the first half hour of the class.

Screw Bad Day by Daniel Powter which I heard on my way home yesterday. Yesterday was nothing like how Daniel Powter sang it. It was hell a lot like a roller-coaster ride.

Unpredictable. Shocking. Awesome.

That was yesterday.

Serves Me Right!

2009-02-28T15:31:00.012Z

I fell down today. Twice.

Falling down is one matter. Repeating the same thing is another. And heck, they were painful.

The only room upstairs in my house is my room. And the only way leading to my room is a flight of steep, narrow stairs. I basically, kind of live in the attic, except, it is not exactly an attic but you could call it that way.

So, here's the catch:

In an attempt to answer my phone, I ran up the stairs in a hurry before I could get a grip on the railing along the stairs, I lost my balance, tripped and fell. On my knees. It instantly scraped my skin off giving me no mercy. The pain was unbearable. I screamed but there was no sound coming out from my throat. It was dry. I held my knees and screamed a silent scream.

I was warned by my boyfriend afterwards - not to run up the stairs but just climb up the stairs at a normal pace like any normal human being would (as if I wasn't normal) and to just hold the railing at all times because I am no Wonder Woman.

I agreed but did not take it seriously.

My punishment for not listening - fell for the second time at the same spot doing the same thing, again.

The second fall was even worse. I almost rolled down the steep stairs like a ball. Thank God, my reflex was fast enough for me to grab a hold of the railing before anything ugly happens. I ended up hurting both of my legs leaving bruises everywhere and... hurt the same knee again. Of course, the stairs just love to skin my knee. The pain pierced right through my bone I couldn't stand on my feet. I sat there for 2 minutes before I could drag myself up to climb a few more steps to get to my room.

Lesson No. 1: Never get too excited to answer your phone calls

Lesson No. 2: Never run up the stairs in a hurry

Lesson No. 3: Hold the railings at all times

I could still feel the stinging pain on my knee...

TV Is Not Necessarily A Bad Influence

2009-02-27T14:47:00.007Z

Out of boredom, I re-watched my favourite TV series, again. And as usual, I cried my eyeballs out of my sockets each time I watch Episode 16 of Season 3. So much emotions - to heavy to carry; I had to let it out.

Reporter: We're a country obsessed with tragedy, Brooke, so if examining tragedy makes me part of the problem, then so be it. But let me ask you something, how much time have you spent with Jimmy Edwards over the last 4 years?
(Brooke goes quiet and looks away.)
Reporter: So maybe I'm not the only one who should be ashamed.
(Brooke starts to cry but stops as someone approaches her.)
Glenda's mom: Brooke? Hi, I'm Glenda's mom, I was wondering if you'd seen her.
Brooke: I'm sorry, I don't know anyone named...
Glenda's mom: Glenda Farrel, She's in your class, she said you two were friends.
Brooke: Glenda! I thought you said Brenda..I'm sorry. Sure, I'll find her.
(Brooke goes outside to cry because she doesn't know who Glenda is.)

Again, I learnt something new from it - to really know people around me - at least their names.

I admit that I still do not know more than half of my classmates in college. I know I'm lousy. It has been almost a year and I still do not know more than half of them. I am very ashamed of myself. Each time they address me with my name, I can't seem to do the same and had to act like I knew. I had to put on my best act to hide my insensivity.

I hate that! I hate that part of me!

They know me - what class I attend, what school I was from, what club I join, what I did the past year...

But, I don't know them.

Sometimes, I don't even know that they are my classmates. And worse yet, I don't even know some of them existed. It's like I shut my world out from them. I didn't feel the need to know them, let alone allow them to be my best friends. I figured I'll be out from college in a year and a half's time. I doubted that I'll be seeing them again.

It is not that I want to be bitter. I'm just afraid of getting my heart broken again. People I know, they distant themselves after some time, and then leave without even saying goodbye. Some merely leave without even giving me the benefit to distant myself from them; so that it would be less painful.

Why does it always have to be that way?

Why do people I love the most always leave???

Even so, I should give them a chance... give myself a chance - a chance to cherish the people I know before it's too late to even regret. To have my heart scarred is better than to not love at all. At least I would learn how to love.

I will, at least learn all their names before I'm out of college.

*************** *************** *************** ***************

Does this darkness have a name?

This cruelty. This hatred.

How did it find us?

Did it steal into our lives?

Or did we seek it out and embrace it?

What happened to us?

That we now send our children into the world

Like we send young men to war

Hoping for their safe return

But knowing that some will be lost along the way

When did we lose our way?

Consumed by the shadow

Swallowed whole by the darkness

Does this darkness have a name?

Is it your name?

One Tree Hill - it inspired me

Out of the Box

2009-02-25T06:07:00.007Z

Moral presentation was nothing like the other presentations - we were required to give a speech about our views on religion and how it affected us - sharing our experiences is more like it.

One week was given to us to prepare for the presentation. And of course, I did it at the last minute.... again! I do this for almost all the presentations ever since primary school. It's true what they say: Old habits die hard.

Note to self - get rid of bad, old habits (which adds to my 2009's Resolution list)

I wouldn't say I was extremely prepared nor unprepared to present on the first week; but I just couldn't bring myself to do so. Yet, I just wanted to get it over and done with. Complicated and indecisive? Very!

Lucky for me I wasn't called out on the first week, what more the first day of presentation. My soul was not at peace on the first day of presentation - afraid of being called out, unable to sit still, fidgeted all over, shook my legs, bit my already painted nails which tasted awful, consumed excessive fluid and had to visit the loo several times.

The first day passed. Then, came the second day of presentation. I was ready to present that day. Unfortunately, my name wasn't called. First week passed by in a dash and I was waiting anxiously to be called to present on the second week. Again, my wish was to no avail - not even the slightest bit. With droopy eyelids, slouchy shoulders and sulky pouty lips, home was where I headed to express my dissatisfaction - screamed and ran around in circles like a 4-year old (actions were exaggerated).

And finally came the third week, which is today. I got tired of waiting for my turn, so, I volunteered (sounds better than insisted) to present today, which I did. Thank goodness! If I do not persist on presenting today, the angst of waiting for my turn might just make me do something inane; like pulling my hair out of my scalp, maybe? How agonising!

I was insanely excited when my turn came - confident and ready to deliver. Before I started my speech, I had a mental note reminding me to look at the people I greet and address. However, when I turned to greet the audience (classmates), my knees weakened a little, my hands trembling and my voice shaking. Who knew that I, a person who's used to be on stage and presented in front of a big crowd for 45798621890213 times would have the symptoms of stage fright.

The class was huge - 150 students at the least, most of which I don't even know. Bright fluorescent lights lit up the whole class, which enables me to look at my audience, even of their physical flaws, which is not usually what happens on my usual presentation; where I won't be able to notice a pool of crowd due to the dim lighting. I guess it's obvious that being able to see my audience is what frightens me.

Ignoring my fears and my stage fright symptoms, I, however, managed to deliver quite a good speech. The class stopped chatting amongst themselves when I started giving my speech, stopped whatever they were doing and listened to what I was saying. That made me feel good and boost my confidence, but at the same time, it added to my nervousness because of all the attention I was getting. How so very distracting!

When I ended my speech with a thank you, I noticed some were still staring at me in awe (so perasan!) I even received thunderous claps (might be slightly exaggerated) from my classmates, but no standing ovation though. I wouldn't want it anyway; it will only stress me out even more.

Overall, I'm satisfied with myself despite the absence of a standing ovation. =D

*************** *************** *************** ***************

Here goes my speech:

Good morning, Mr Eric and my fellow college mates. As I stand here before you today, allow me to enlighten you with my take on religion and how it shaped my perception.

I remembered someone once told me that religion is a path pointer that guides people into the right path. Somehow, I couldn't agree more.

A living example that has benefited from religion is my very own eldest sister. She used to be a party go-er when she was in her teens and often came home at the wee hours of the night. She was spoilt an uncontrollable. It was only when she knew the Lord she slowly changed into a better person. She is now a caring, mature and responsible sister as well as daughter.

But then again, how many people are guided into the right path by religion? Take for example the terrorists attack on 911. The terrorists are so convinced that what they did was for the better and that they did it because of their religion. Sadly, their leaders have misinterpreted the teachings of the Al-Quran, all wrong. Yes, they claimed that they have sacrificed themselves in the name of religion as well as killed many innocent lives. If it really was for religion, then why aren’t things better now? In fact, they have worsened drastically. Now tell me, which religion supports murder?

Because of their actions, Islam has been condemned and insulted by many. Why does religion need to take all this crap and be treated like garbage when it is men who corrupted it?

Because of all these corruption and condemnation in religion, I chose not to practice any religion. The very thought of it disgusted me due to the fallacious actions of men. That is why I live based on my beliefs. I believe if one does good without even the need of practicing a particular religion, it is better than those who claim themselves to be staunch believers of a particular religion but do not practice its teachings. In fact, beliefs are what made religion. Similar beliefs amongst people are what made religion possible to realize.

I’m aware that I’m only sharing my thoughts about religion but please, don’t judge me on the basis that I know nothing about the values of different religion. The irony is that I’m born into a family that practices different religion - my dad is a Hindu, my mum a Taoist, my grandmother a Soka-Gakkai, my sister a Christian and my aunt a Muslim. Though, I wouldn’t dare to say I know a lot about all of the religions but I dare say I know just enough.

Having said that, my family background has nothing to do with my being not practicing a religion. Some might even think that I’m too confused to choose one, which is absolutely not true. As much as I would like to say that religion has no effect on me, I would have to disagree with myself. As ironic as it may sound, religion has moulded me into what I am today - kinder and wiser - though I'm not practicing any particular religion.

Religion is indeed a tricky topic. No one's interpretation about it is totally right nor wrong. I would say that it is too subjective of a matter to be solved like math equations.

Thank you.

Of Fury, Disdain and Unjustness

2009-02-23T06:30:00.005Z

Hello world!

I just got home from college and something 'interesting' happened. Who knew that after almost two weeks since I last updated my blog and after an emotional post, I would be punching the keys on my keyboard, writing an angry post. Before I start yelling at anyone who comes 3 feet near me, I'd better vent my rage here as I couldn't contain it, no more.

It's fascinating how one easily asks for the other's favour but when the other asks to be excused, the other is shunned and casts as outsider. More interestingly is, the other is excused for whatever reasons should the other be someone close to the one who asks for the favour.

Because I have projected kindness and consideration by agreeing to help, I have sacrificed my chance of participating, which I very much intended to do so; instead, became a team member. Even so, I did not have the privileges of a team member. When I asked to be exempted, I was instead asked to leave and be casted as an outsider but was still oblige to fulfill the agreed favour. Just because I wasn't a member of the team previously and just because I'm not that person's close friend??? I'm sure that person's boyfriend/girlfriend would be excused even if he/she is not in the community. I can bet my bottom's dollar on it.

If my patience and anger are once again challenged, I swear I would quit at the very last minute, leaving them dejected and in distress. I won't give a shit on whether or not the event would be a success. They can condemn me however they like it and however much they want - they asked for it.... you asked for it.

Didn't your mama tell you not to play with fire?

You will get hurt in the end.

~ Beware, unscrupulousness is everywhere. ~

Wounded & Scarred

2009-02-10T14:41:00.008Z

I have always thought I was kind of an extrovert especially when I was younger. I was this naive and active child full of zest and own a mouth that just doesn't know how and when to shut up and just too outspoken which drove my family, relatives, teachers and even friends up the walls. I was even begged to shut up but they never were too serious about it.

I was known as a parrot at home - always imitating my sisters and spoke whenever I liked, almost all the time. But in school, I was known as a chatterbox - my mouth just wouldn't get tired of talking during morning assembly up till the school bell rang indicating that it was time to go home. I was also unafraid and not at all timid to strike and keep a conversation with people I barely knew, even strangers. Not only that, I was always on the go and was up for any kind of adventure.

Unfortunately, now, I do not see myself as what I was before. The personality test I took yesterday afternoon proved that I'm more of an introvert than an extrovert though I may only be 11% of an introvert. But still, I'm an introvert. I know such test should not be trusted 100% but these Ph.D scholars are experts on human behaviours, characteristics and what not and has spent a few decades dedicating their lives just studying humans. Plus, they are licensed psychologists and have reputations to keep up to.

Over the years, I have grown to what I've become, learned what I needed to, matured my thinking and changed from what I was before to what I am now. Experiences have taught me to become stronger, tougher, wiser and... lonelier as well as quieter.

I'm fed up of not being heard, treated like a 4-year-old and my voice being forced down my throat. It is not me who chose to be quiet. It is you who demanded me not to speak and merely do what is asked that shut me out in my own home. I have battled enough in unscrupulous fights that only gets me hurt each time. The wounds you gave me have tamed my aggressive and wild nature. My quiet manner has in fact healed my most visible wounds but not of the wounds in my heart.

Quieter is what I've become. Lonelier is what I'm feeling ever since. I can understand why silence and solitude are what I own. But can you???

I have lost my shadow, myself...

I'm merely living in a facade...